saoirse

When I die...

2011-10-17T00:35:00.000-07:00

When I die, I don’t want to look like a tribute to Lakme’ orBotox. I don’t want my body to rot against some silicone implants. I don’t wanta fake complexion with my face completely covered under layers of foundationand makeup. I want people to look at me and see the life I have lived. Thescars that show the pain that I have endured. The wrinkles that creases inbetween them, witness to the years that I have lived.

Oh yes, and I want big visible laughwrinkles…I absolutely love seeing old people who have laugh wrinkles…It feelslike it’s a tribute to all those happy years that they had enjoyed. Maybe, Iwon’t eat olives and rub milk and egg yolk all over my face. Maybe, I’ll evenhave dark circles from all those all-nighters I pulled in college. Maybe, thosechildhood bruises on my knees will never go away. Maybe, those scars from thehorrifying acne-filled adolescent years are going to show on my face forever. Andmaybe my age will in the end, get the best of me….but I don’t mind. I love thefact that I still have a bruise on the sole of my feet from when I was 12. AndI love the way I can look at my body and not just see Ponds on my face,Maybelline on my eyes and Lakme’ on my fingernails. Maybe I’m not going to beon the next Top Model show...but I love the way I look…and I love the way Ikeep changing with age and with life. I may not turn a lot of heads, but I amhappy with their heads turned away.

I am what I am. I am healthy. I eat well.And I live my life well. And for me, that’s good enough. And that is what Iwant to take to my grave, not a man-made sculpture filled with chemicals, allfor the satisfaction of onlookers.

Born...Free?

2011-09-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

A small boy is handed grenades in Iraq, while a girl barely reaching puberty is forced out of her clothes in Calcutta. A baby is secretly sold and a boy forced to dance in women’s clothing for money in Afghanistan. A girl is lost in Mexico and found the next day with a cut in her abdomen; a kidney missing. Do you still want me to continue?

I could show you statistics.

Death toll world wide of children killed in armed conflict within the decade: 2,000,000

Children injured or disabled in armed conflict at the same time period: 6,000,000

Do they deserve to suffer in your battles?

Children subjected to child abuse each year: 40,000,000

Third leading cause of death in adolescents around the world: Suicide

Society has brought mockery towards children to such an extent that the childhood of most is lost before it could even begin. Child rape, harassment, bullying, trafficking, labor, torture…the list is terrifying and the length of it is shocking.

How sick does your mind have to want to break a child’s innocence? How sick do you have to be to turn away from it and pretend it does not concern you? Is there really much of a difference when both the actions result in the same end result; the death of a childhood? Do you really want to be that person who looks at the abused but does not see their pain? Hears their cries but doesn’t listen to the agony?

You could blame it on anger issues. You could say it’s the way it is; the way it has always been done. You could justify it by saying that it was well-deserved. You could scream that it was not their responsibility. But you would all be wrong. Yes it has been that way for centuries… In ancient Rome, fathers had the authority to sell, kill, maim, sacrifice or otherwise do with a child as he saw fit. Sexual abuse within the family has always existed, in spite of a universal taboo. From Biblical literature, to the Inca, to the Egyptians, virtually all types of incest are described. And in England and the Americas, during industrialization, children were placed in apprenticeships, workhouses, orphanages, placement mills, factories, farms, and mines. In England, 5-year-olds worked 16-hour days in factories while shackled in chains. They were often whipped to get them to work harder. But just because it has been that way, doesn't mean it’s the right way.

It’s time to mend our ways. To defend the defenseless. To create a safe haven for our future generation. Perhaps the situation is not as drastic in Maldives. But the way we are heading…it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know we are in for a lot of trouble. Take a look at Male’ and you’ll see my point in a second. Girls of 12 in dresses that cover nothing, giving it all away in a cheap hotel. Little boys acting like thugs and shoving knifes into each other…just for fun. We could say it’s just the way they are…if it was just one child loosing their way. But when you see the same thing happening with every adolescent that walks the streets of Male’, you have to question. Who is it that needs to be blamed? The parents that never had the time to teach their children proper etiquette and manners because they were too busy making enough money to barely survive? The authorities that show no mercy to the kids that roam the streets and thus create hatred in kids’ hearts towards the ones that are supposed to be protecting them? Or the government for the lack of facilities and laws that provide haven for them?

You still think you are doing the right thing? You still think it’s the way it should be? Are your actions really justified?

(artwork taken from cyanide and happiness)

Where...?

2011-02-07T02:25:00.000-08:00

The beauty of Spring so luscious

The waters that run through so clear

The vines that twine in through us

Oh Dear God, don’t you fear?

Where has the world gone…?

Cold and awake I dream of you

Of moments of joy invincible by truth

Seethed in my heart, stored in my head

I never envisioned a better regret

Oh Dear Love, don’t you know?

Where had it gone wrong…?

Through tangles of webs and ashes with dust…

We rose together in one final thrust

Do you realize that what was, is gone?

Do you know it was never born?

Oh Dear Child, don’t you know?

Where has the innocence gone…?

Creep through the shadows

Lie alone in the shades

I fear nothing but what fear allows

For everything changes and the day fades

Oh Dear Sun, don’t you know?

Where in the world have the nights gone?

faking it...!

2010-12-04T19:16:00.000-08:00

Was procrastinating, playing around in Picnik...and realized I havn't really stayed true to my promise to blog more often...so I made this! its a collaboration of a photo I took a month ago and a really amusing quote i found in a book a couple of days back :)
I know I'm cheating...but with assignments, tutorials and real life drama...i really have my hands full..
So this is me...fulfilling my promise by jumping through a loophole in hope of writing something constructive after my Autumn term ends.. :)

Any views or comments on the subject at hand (refer to blog title) are welcome. :P

hey there blogosphere...

2010-11-24T09:46:00.000-08:00

i come here today to find everything has changed...blogspot has gotten so much better....im so in love with the new layouts and designs..! xD im gonna change it every week! :)

and so much spam in the comments sections of some of my posts as well...i shud figure out a way to filter them out.. >.<

anyways, this is just a lil note here...to say im back...and will be posting a lot more often....im thinking of posting some things that i have been studyin about as well....just to get a bit of diversity into this emo, dear-diary-ish, whiny blog of mine.. :P

homesick...

2010-06-06T03:19:00.001-07:00

I miss waking up to you shouting out that its getting late for school, and yet having to eat a whole breakfast before i can get out of the house..

I miss that delicious taste any food has when its cooked by you...and the weird way that i can figure out whether it was you who made it...

I miss the fact that i can hug you any time i want and you would hug me back even though im sweaty/kuni moona/soaking wet...

I miss the fact that you came to my house every single day for tiutions...and would so annoyingly wake me up from my beauty sleep...and be all perky...(wow, you are annoyin >.<)..but you also let me cancel a whole lotta those classes so we could go somewhere else or just hangout...

I miss that i could just call you up and go shopping without a cent in my wallet, and still be pretty damn satisfied...

I miss the three of us hanging out together, goin to lilies...i miss the red candle nights..the burn-the-stuff-your-ex-gave nights...and the crazy way we act when we get together...

I miss complaining about boyfriends and bitching about exes with you guys...

I miss the gossip and the dumb talks...and the weird way in which ppl keep confusing the both of us...and i miss zig zagging with you...

I miss how we totally bitch at each other and still hug like we are sisters at the end of the day...

I miss being your hubby/wrockstar..

I miss having a wifey...

and Im pretty sure grey misses chang..or the other way around...

I miss annoying you at class(and vice cersa!)..and making you cut classes...and your weird ideas..

I miss how we got each other soo well...and we could be dark and gloomy together

I miss the three of us havin fun in the student room...and all the dumb and weird stuff we talked about..i miss coke and crapppy chocolate...and bitching about moonis (no offence to you dear)

I miss mig-ing you...and i miss your soo lovable hugs...and i mss the beautifully unique way you look at the world...i miss how you are so bouncy and serene all at the same time..and all that strong faith you had..

I miss how you walked me home...with the weirdest of reasons...and made us take the longer route

I miss the midnight walks...I miss being able to say anything..any possible thing and knowing you are not going to hold it against me...

I miss roadhamas...

I miss the weirdo games we played...expecially upside down dart thingy..!

I miss knowing that i could go out at the hottest hour of the day and still have someone right next to me to walk with...

I miss ice cream after school...and the black jokes...

I miss the cup...

I miss random sms's at the middle of the night for no partcular reason...

I miss going to the shows with everybody

I do not miss the curfews... >.<

I miss our nerubathi...

I miss the guy me...I miss how we agreed on pretty much everything...I miss you being an annoying know-it-all awesome person :P

I miss my emergency transport and food partner.. :P I miss you calling up to get enmen together...and 'kameh raavan hingaaba' :P

I miss girly shoppin sprees!...

I miss being on the phone 18/7

I miss how much we effected each other...and how much i trusted you...i miss taking care of you in every possible way i could...

I miss that i could call you up anytime and you would hear me out...thank you for being the stronger one...

I miss you saying the cutest of things at the exact right time...even though you are completely clueless...

I miss you waking up in the middle of the night and climbing into my bed to sleep next to me...

I miss the way you talk..and smile..and your stupid lil tantrums...

I miss your tiny lil hugs...i can't believe im not there to see you grow up...

I miss you gettin bored and coming to my room to talk for no particular reason..

I miss gettin pissed at you for no particular reason (sorry man.. :P)

I miss our photo sessions and talks...i miss hearing about your day and answering awkward questions.. :P

I miss movie nights...and the time when mum left and we had to survive without food

I miss you helping me out of crappy situations...and beng so motherly with me..

I miss you coming to my room just to talk...and sometimes bringing a boduberu from your boyfriend with ya :p

I miss how you always sided with me..and how you always knew the right stuff to say...and i didn't (but i tried to ) you are the closest i have to a sister...(i can't believe you are coming here..yay!)

I miss going to villingilli...i miss the sleepovers..

I miss going to seahouse just to eat the blueberry cheesecake

I miss how the waiter there knows us and has a crush on you :P

I miss goin to the raalhugandu and just stare out at the ocean...

I miss you picking me up wherever i am...no questions asked...

I miss fizzes...and french vanilla coffee...

I miss getting high on coffee and sugar

I miss creeping out of the house at night just for a goodnight kiss...

I miss lying down and looking at the stars...

I miss sending random sms's in the middle of the night...

I miss having mig33 when the internet connection is lost...

I miss being called pink...

I miss the long sms's that sent tingles down my spine...

I miss beng able to trust people with what they say...

I miss unda jehun

I miss going to bed excited about the plans for tomorrow...

I miss talking and actually having a person understand what the fuck im saying...

I miss all the hugs i got...

I miss people dropping me off at home..

I miss how my place always ends up being the gathering point for everybody...

I miss playing sports i didn't know...and having huge bruises everywhere...

I miss how you can talk about poop and fart and still sound cool..

I miss baywatch cafe'...and 'fulhi kendun'

I miss how my mum never let us stay in my room with my door locked..but she's cool with everybody else..

I miss our 'study sessions'

I miss break times after study sessions

I miss walking back home...or runnng back home mostly..

I miss planning for prom night, and other huge events..that the islamic ministry forbids..

I miss cutting class and going to jumhoori maidhan or sultan park or the souvenior shops or wherever we pleased...

I miss going to your place and eating chocolate cake after class...

I miss your grandmother's garden on the terrace of your house...

I miss sharing clothes...

I miss the fulhi-bombs...the 'key' fghts..and all the other trouble you all would get into all the time...

I miss the chocolate fudge from fizzes that you would always buy for me...

I miss girl-watching :P

I miss olive garden!

I miss going to marble to see the ships and the moon...

I miss the weird things we did for money...lorry rides...pineapple balls..

I miss you all so much...

and I really am starting to hate these damn *hug*s...

hubul vathan!

2009-12-13T03:03:00.000-08:00

and so i put a lil tiny flag on my side bar!!

a tribute to my country...

of course ill take it off if we loose!

*shrugs*

that's the hubul vathan of today my friend...

wordpress v. blogger

2009-11-19T21:30:00.000-08:00

thinking of moving to wordpress....

any ideas on which ones better? O_O

Real

2009-11-09T15:02:00.000-08:00

The shivers down my spine

The tremble in my hands

I can’t lie and say they ain’t real

But this mind of mine

And this coal-drenched heart

Won’t accept this to be real

The touch, the feel

The sounds that appease

It won’t understand that this is real

The words you utter,

The butterflies in my stomach that flutter

It just ignores and pretend they aren’t real

The feeling that grows

From the nose to my toes

It just won’t allow for it to be real

The depth in your eyes and what lies inside

Yes, my heart is too scared to ask what is real

I know it's crappy...I know I am supposed to have blogged about moving to Malay and all about changes and everything...but my mind is kinda blank these days...so, here it is...yours truly, confused as ever... :)

It would seem...

2009-11-05T00:19:00.001-08:00

The silver lining along the cloud
The drops of sunshine through the haze
A humble ounce of beauty
...visible in this atrocious place

If You Can Dream

2009-09-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

There is a world where hope
And dreams can last for all time
A wondrous place to go
You'll know it when your heart finds

Hearing our song as old as rhyme
Hold my hand we're gonna fly
What a magic ride
And just a kiss away

If you can dream
The wish we're making
On a star is coming true
The colours of the wind will lead
My heart right back to you

'Cause if you can dream
Reflections in a diamond sky
Come shining on true
Romance will always be so new
And love will save the day
If you can dream

Someday my prince will come
It's certain as the sun rise
One day the slipper fits
Then you see the love in his eyes

It's a tale as old as time
There's no mountain we can't climb
When you're finally mine
And just a kiss away

If you can dream
The wish we're making
On a star is coming true
The colours of the wind will lead
My heart right back to you

'Cause if you can dream
Reflections in a diamond sky
Come shining on true
Romance will always be so new
And love will save the day
If you can dream

So the story goes
Never die the rose
There's a whole new world
Waiting there for us
(Waiting just for us)

If you can dream
The wish we're making
On a star is coming true
The colours of the wind will lead
My heart right back to you

'Cause if you can dream
Reflections in a diamond sky
Come shining on true
Romance will always be so new
And love will save the day
Love will say the day
If you can dream

this is an official disney song; A song that is written specially for the Disney Princess franchise. It features the voice of Jodi Benson as Ariel, Judy Kuhn as Pocahontas, Paige O'Hara as Belle, Lea Salonga as Jasmine and Mulan, Christie Houser as Aurora and Susan Stevens Logan as Cinderella.

you can check out the video in here...

Rain on Sunshine

2009-09-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored
with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.

From the script of :
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 2004

Not A Mind Reader...

2009-08-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

im not a mind reader
i can't tell whether you are happy or not
when you smile and say fine
i cant tell whether its okay for me
to do what i do and to say what i say
i need more than a smile
i need more than a nod
i need more than just some emoticon
to really understand what you feel
what you need

im not a mind reader
so just tell me out loud
let me have it harsh and cold
cause i deserve to know
cause i'd do the same for you
cause you know its true...
that i wouldn't do anything
if it were to hurt you...
as long as you tell me
and you let me know..

cause...
im not a mind reader...
and i can't feel the psychic vibes from so far...

photo cred : Innocence by RedSigns

eternal desire...

2009-08-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

The feeling of want..of need...that you cannot be satisfied...that you cannot walk this earth again the same way if not given the scent of what your heart aches for...it desires for....

This feeling grows...it consumes...and there is no end to it...for a desire can never be satisfied...you can never have enough of it..call it an addiction if you may, but to those who has ever gotten a taste of it...an addiction is like having a sweet tooth compared...

Desires rage fire...and throws itself into the iciest of cold...and there it rages fire again...the mixture of hot and cold...eventually eats one another...and leave the dead marks of satisfaction...and the desire fulfilled...yet longing for another battle to be fought...

And then there is the desire most want...the desire to be desired...to have a man tremble in front of your eyes...to see the rage of fire in his eyes..which looks like it would consume him, lest he was unable to touch you...we have heard the fables...read the stories...where the mere revealing of a hand of a geisha or the caressing of the neck of some woman in the medieval times would ignite a man's passion beyond what words he could say...and his hands tremble to touch her...as though she was sacred...as though touching her was a pleasure he could not have...

What i hold between my thighs...and within my bosoms..is sacred..it is sacred because i believe it to be..and i desire to be desired for what i have...for being a woman..and i desire to be looked at with lust even with my body hidden and hands crossed upon my lap...for i am a woman...and my body...my mind...my soul is mine to hold..and mine to give..

i do understand, that some of you may think that what i have written is too mature or pornographic for me to write..so to all of them, im just gonna act real immature, and tell them to fuck off... :)

photo credits : Desire by xequemate

nightmares and lullaby...

2009-08-18T02:50:00.000-07:00

cry baby cry
little demons are here tonight
to take you into nightmares
you wouldnt have thought of
to take up your innocence
and rid you of sanity
to light up the devil's lair
with your eyes tonight
to creep up you back
and send bumps down the spine
to take away the purity
and honesty in your prayer
and sprinkle the devils dust
upon your feet's bare

Bloggin Becux I Have To...

2009-08-04T02:07:00.000-07:00

i realised i blog only when i'm pissed or really really depressed...andi'm not sure whether its healthy or not...but...whatever gets me goin right? so, this one is so that i'm not labelled as some emo kid who writes poetry that would make Shakespeare raise from the dead just to kill me.. :) see? im not so bad..and not depressed! anyways, here's the 20 random facts about me! (sorry about the delay..i dint see it...sorta.. :P)

here goes:

i am a car-maniac...love cars...and currently in lust (my true love is the porsche cerrara GT) with the black toyota celica in male'
Jack-In-The-Box freaks me out
i am a Paulo Coelho fan..obsessed with his books actually...and his blog...(no, im not stalkin him :P)
i love abstract art..i dont really see the point in most of Michelangle, da Vinci and Rubens work...its already there and much better..why paint it again?..
My favourite teacher was Ms.Risala who was my teacher for 2 years (grade 1 & 2) She helped me outta my shell and was basiclaly awsome.. :)
I would never get an abortion but i'm prochoice. I'm not gay, but gay people don't bother me. period.
I want to live in Dubai..and i want to have apartments of my own in atleast 3 countries. (a girl can dream :D)
If it wasn't for religious restrictions i would get a tattoo (a tiny one)..and a navel piercing
i hate re-mix songs...the original is always better
i procrastinate...soo..much...
i have never broken a bone in my body. but there is not a single part of my arms and legs that had not been bruised in someway.. :p
I sleep on the phone..been a habit since grade nine...and i can pretty much sleep through anything and in any position..my weirdest one yet was sleepin on my nose while finishin my math homework
i hate ironing...most of the time,i just wear stuff..they are bound to get creased anyways, right?
Im currently watching the following series : 70s show, greys anatomy and private practice..and i end up confusin private practice with greys cux adison is in both! O_O
most of my jewelery consist of stuff that have sentimental value more than stuff that i actually wear..the same goes with the teddy bears, clothes, cosmetics and books
i have an obsession with cutting hair..i cant go without cuttin it..*snip* *snip*
even though im a lazy arse, i hate stayin home and doing nuthin..infact, i can't stand it..im a lazy workaholic (if thats possible :P)
my laptop is always beside me when i sleep..its my 'bahdha baales' :P
the highest play count recieved in my itunes player is for Bang Bang Mystery Man by Tommi Inkila..
I'm a rainy day person...definitely not a sunny day person..!

fudge!! i forgot to tag!!!

here goes: i tag...umm.. i-ecco, black orchid, silent smurrfs, silver tm

the fur...the roots...the hands...the guide...

2009-07-18T02:25:00.000-07:00

i always thought
i could walk alone
no hands to hold
no guides to follow
no roots to hold me up and bright
no fur to keep me warm and alright
i thought i was fine..just alone
leaving it all and going with the flow
alas,
i now realise...living ain't easy
when it just goes by
and thats how it is..when you ain't nearby
you keep me happy...you make me strong
you lift my spirits..you always sang a different song
and there right there...i saw the fur..the roots the hands..
and the guide to lead away
'cause you remind me...when i forget
and you find me..when i am lost..
the many laughs with others...
compare little with the few i had with you..
you were what i needed...
you were there...

picture from deviantart : True Friendship by kimcats

The Usual...

2009-07-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

girl: no!

guy: yes

girl: no..

guy: yes

girl: maybe..

guy: yes

girl: yes?

guy: yes..

girl: yes

guy: yes!

Ignorance....is bliss

2009-07-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

Its amazing how easily you can ignore things..pretend it doesn’t need to be taken care of..pretend its not important…or just pretend its invisible…that its not there…you spend hours and hours of your day watching the tv…or playing music…while you have a cv to be made…university applications to send out..classes to apply for…obligations…duties…responsibilies…but you just sit…infront of the tv…or staring at the ceiling…and just not think about any of the things you have to do…

Why? ‘cause you are scared ofcourse. You are afraid of what might happen if you do try…if you try to do the things others havn’t tried before…you are scared you might screw up…and end up a failure…so you just don’t want to start…’cause you never know until you try….and not knowing, just might save you from the sorrows…the failure…the unhappiness…

So, yeah, im scared…im scared to move on with my life…I’m scared that I’m not gonna be the person that I’m expected to be…the person I want to be…and trying and failing…it’s just not an option anymore…

pray for me.. O_O

2009-06-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

The worst of the worst is here... *sigh*

So, just pray for me alright?...so that i do well in my exams..and i am soo happy that i treat everybody to pizza... :P sweet deal eh?

*gulp*

*back in panic mode*

my blog is in a coma, and will be back shortly...

2009-05-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

hey ya all...

this is not one of those psycho-ish, beykaaru, hama nujehey stuff that i normally write...this is just a lil NOTICE to anybody who visits this blog in the near future...

i have been rather dumb and exceeded my net limit by downloading way too many stuff..(c'mon, who could just sit and stare while they released prison break finale and heroes and....you get the picure :P) so...this means that i shouldn't and cannot net ah vananings (oh da humanity!! )

anyways, this also means i wont be blogging for atleast a month or so..plus with the tests already here..this just might be a nubai minvarakun heyo minvareh negeyne kameh (as my islam teacher used to say)

so to all readers and (if any) followers...g'luck for the next few weeks of your life...and take care... and i guess i'll be back in the blogosphere after june to check out all the blogs and get back to all this again... :)

*hugs*

Drama from the sidewalk - The Sweet Husband

2009-05-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

'hero':majeedhi magu light ga jehifa in cykeh ga in firheneh....

(phone ringing)

Hero: (takes out phone) hey hon..yeah...uhuh?...no, im just on my way to the house...sure sweetie..ya, i love ya too...bye..(puts phone back in coat pocket)

Hero: (mimics a woman's voice) where are you? what are you doing? take this..do that..(changes voice) that lil goddamn annoying bitch....!

this work is purely fictional...

the Devil gave me Love

2009-05-14T01:42:00.000-07:00

oh so thats why..... -_-

Breakups mean:

2009-05-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

you are going to be branded 'pathetic' if you got dumped...a 'bitch' if you dumped him/her..
you will be constantly finding reasons NOT to go out
when you do go out...its likely that you will feel like you have 'I'M SINGLE' branded on you forehead
you will start a weird obsession of staring at your phone...a lot
the messages in your phone are going to be read...over..and over...and over..(including the call me backs)
you will cry while watching every single episode of One Tree Hill...and all those lovey-dovey movies
everybody around you will suddenly start having stable/perfect relationships
your newest hobby would become staring at the ceiling
you are likely to become a studyaholic/workaholic
sleepless nights (duh!!)
its like getting pregnant...you might get this craving...any time..and you have to (i repeat, HAVE TO) have it..whatever it is...whatever the time is...
you start pondering about the big questions in life..like the meaning of life and death..and why we are here..(you know, ..deep shit)
you end up talking to strangers...a lot..and saying stuff...a lot
your personal msgs on msn and facebook statuses become extremely emo..
you feel guilty everytime you laugh
you get flashbacks out of the blue
and you end up staring at the mirror a lot
basically, i guess you do a lot of staring..
oh, and you might try to change your appearence in some way..(haircuts..werido hairdos..extreme piercings)
(if the break up was because of sumthin stupid he/she did) you will feel an extreme need to rebel against his/her comments/compliments...(eg: if he compliments your hair..you WILL feel an urge to cut it...like CUT it..!)
you will start checking his/her blog on a daily basis
you will starr checking his/her fb status every hour or so
your room will slowly deteriorate into a state of unfixableness
sudden urges to go out and party will come...and go...in a matter of minutes..
craving for ice cream (duh!)
craving for chocolate (double duh!)
lowered self esteem
you will start taking little things very personally and very (very!) emotionally
you will go into mourning (ie, wear black a lot)
you will wear loads of eye liner and andhun to prevent people from noticing your puffy eyes
short term memory loss
attention deficiency
talking in shakespearen lingo..wayy too much
your attire doesnt change for days..mostly huge tshirts with shorts..
signing up for thing you don't have time for (like yoga, martial arts, cake decorationg (we all know why) maa jehun, ) <- yoga does sound appealing ^^
get extremely jealous of hiro nakamura
get back on track with your reading
drawing (even if you dont know how to ) broken hearts...everywhere..(EVERYWHERE!)
updating your blog in a daily/weekly basis...mostly with love-sick posts and depressing poetry
reminicing about the 'good times'
'accidental' calls to the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend
burning/throwing/melting/any sort of destructive method being used to destroy any gifts/flowers/cards recieved during the course of the relationship (if it was an ugly break up)
sleeping with gifts/flowers/cards recieved
staring at gifts/flowers/cards recieved
rings...oh dont even get me started on rings..!
if you have a camera..your photography will become extremely depressing
your lips become cracked
change in weight (may increase or decrease depending on individual)
having to get back in the 'game' buut, you are too tired for the game..
changing your whole perspective of life...
no more horny dreams of just one girl
no more nightmares/dreams of married life
extreme horni-ness
cats will suddenly become very friendly with you..and you will feel the need to adopt one..(DONT!)
shopping! shopping! and more shopping!
being broke...
no more eating out because you are broke
reminicing of the days you were broke...and you could still eat out..*sigh*
doing freaky daredevil stunts which end up really wrong (either in the hospital or the police office)
celebrating freedom!...and craving for unfreedom (i know thats not a word!..but do u want me to say slavery?)
you become rather fond of animals..(no! thats not what i meant! perv! -_-)
you start singing 'sexy back' in the shower
you start blaming everything on the breakup

oh, this is probably going to be a continuing list...and includes opinions that are common and unique to many others out there...so feel free to add in anything more..

oh oh, and this work is purely fiction :P so don't start lecturing me about being obsessive/unhappy/depression...blah blah...i just needed to write this...just for the heck of writing it...aiite?

Drama from the sidewalk - Just A Theory

2009-05-05T04:29:00.000-07:00

two 'partey' at a street corner staring at a pretty girl walking by

partey 1: *whistles* hey sexy lady... *wink*

(pretty girl stops dead on her feet)

pretty girl: what do you think you are doing? eh? you really think that by hooting and calling me 'sexy' with that suggextive tone in your voice is really going to get me interested in you? or that pathetic winking is going to make me think of you as something more than a disgusting pervert whose life serves no purpose other than to aimlessly pace around the corners of streets trying to find girls to hoot at, which i would like to add is a pretty damn stupid method to use if you actually want to get a woman for you...which leads me to think that maybe, just maybe you are not interested in getting the girl...maybe you are just hoping that by doing so, you would be seen as somebody with hetreosexuality and maybe convince your miserable heart who is aching for that piece of meat right next to you, otherwise.... *winks back, turns around and leaves*

(silence)

partey 2: hey man...err...i gotta go home..my mum called me a coupla hours ago..err..see ya man...*dashes off*

(this work is purely fictional...)

from the puppeteers lips...

2009-05-04T13:04:00.000-07:00

how sweet life would be,
if you would just be
my little figure on strings
and i could dance your feet away
tap on it till the end of day
nod your head to all my requests
leap up and take conquest
protect my honor and fear no wrath
i could make you
my one and only strength
sleep for me
eat for me
cry and just weep for me
fight for me
and strive for me
life has no meaning but what is said by me..

*slight maniac laughter....*

photo by Lady-Dementia (a deviant artist)

Drama from the sidewalk - The Lost Cause

2009-05-03T06:33:00.000-07:00

location: (maaveyo magu)

guy: usha!

girl: (turns around) don't try to make a scene...please!

guy: you know how much i love you? do you even have the slightest idea? (puffy eyes swelling up with tears..again)

girl: yes i do..but this in not...

guy: no you don't! (voice rising) you have no idea..if you did...you wouldn't do this to me..not in a million years!!

girl: i havn't done anything to you!..and therefore, i have nothing to say to you!..goodbye arshadh...

guy: (voice softens) love..don't..im begging you..(takes the girl's hand)..this is not what we wanted..give me one good reason why we should not be together...?

girl: (sounding stone hard and icy cold) simple. because i don't love you. and because you don't deserve my love.

(by this point a smal crowd of people pretending not to look at the scene have gathered..)

guy: (startled and anger rising) what the f**k do you mean by i dont deserve your love? eh? you think you are something special don't you? (girl says nothing) fine. we are over. we'll see how long you can stay away from me. (slight maniacal laugh....leaves)

girl: (stares at the pavement...tears start rolling down her eyes...and she slowly breaks down in front of a dozen of people)

(this work is purely fictional...)

Rolling...

2009-05-02T09:31:00.000-07:00

...life rolls..no matter what obstacle comes by, it will always roll over it...and perhaps crush the obstacles into millions of pieces as it does so..but the only way it could...is by making it bigger...making life so big that it could roll over pretty much anything...and the obstacles would be nothing more than lil pecks of sand you pass, unnoticed along the road...

Love styles...

2009-04-17T00:10:00.000-07:00

Eros – a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love
Ludus – a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest
Storge – an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity
Pragma – love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative
Mania – highly volatile love; obsession; fueled by low self-esteem
Agape – selfless altruistic love; spiritual; motherly love

What's your style...?

let me out...

2009-04-11T03:04:00.000-07:00

can't you see that I'm trying?
pulling and pushing on to the edges..
can't you see the tears that I'm crying?
little bits of frozen drops held in just for now...
can't you feel the sorrow I'm hiding?
the plastic in reality..the fake outside the real inside?
can't you just understand...that maybe...
...
just maybe...nobody knows where we are going..?

model rights goes to: razaan (he is a good lil boy who know how to stand still! ^^)

Vote Earth!!!

2009-03-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

The world's first election between the Earth and Global Warming!

For the first time in history...everybody from every continent...every nation...every ethinicity...every age....is allowed to use their light switch as their vote.. Switching off your lights is a vote for Earth, or leaving them on is a vote for global warming.

WWF are urging the world to VOTE EARTH and reach the target of 1 billion votes, which will be presented to world leaders at the Global Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen 2009. This meeting will determine official government policies to take action against global warming, which will replace the Kyoto Protocol.

It's our chance to make our voices heard!

So this is a reminder to all Earth Warriors out there! Dont forget to vote for Earth! :)

and to think i was gonna post about gay blogs!. :P

2009-02-01T08:55:00.000-08:00

that was just freaking funny!!!....but kinda loabi too...in a creepy, stalker sorta way...

ok..ok..im getting ahead of myself..lemme tell you what REALLY happened..*giggle*

i have a lil stalker!!! tehe...i went to my first extra class today! yippee!! and unlike a LOT of other people..i managed to get in too.. double yippee!!..anyways, my class ended around 9, and since i had math tiution at 10 avahah geyah aee ekani hingaafa..been walking alone varah ginain midhuvaskolhu especially from school..but today was a lil bit harder cux i was sorta koru jahanings form a (very fakuru looking) injury i got this weekend..back to the topic, hingaa iruves i dont take a lot of notice of the people on the road...anehen moonah balalan dho..but not enough to really notice them..anyways, miadhu geyah aissa maths tiution nimaali iru sidi kairiga there was a guy...probly around 15-16 years of age..hudhu kulaige t-shirt eh laigen...really really fair...and kinda short around my height.....i thought kokko hodhan aissa kamah..so i just alhanulanings him and kaan isheeni gossa (my kokko made me raha eh nula noodles! :| ) the guy comes up, sorta fidgeting, and...

him: arykko....? (afternote: after a lil interogation he revealed he heard my friends call me that..)

me: err...huh?? (still more interested in my not so tasty noodles)

him: umm...vahaka dhakalevidhaane tha?...(keeps looking around nervously)

me: me??? *stares for 5 seconds* do i know you......??? O_O <-yup! i was lo bodu kuranings at him.. :P

him: no no...umm...*mumble* *mumble*

me: hmm.....(goes to inspect him a lil better) kihiney ve? O_o

him: kurin dhuvahu chse in ana than fenuney....miadhu ves fenunu...so, i kinda followed you...ekamu mihisaabah aissa konme dhuvahaku gehlanee...varah ehen gethah ves hodhin....migeyah aima buni tiution ga yo..so madu kohli...emeehun (my granma and granpa) varah faadakah balan thibee..so beyruga madukuri tiution nimendhen... :) <- yeah, he gave me the baby smile!...aww...

me: O_O are you for serious???...... who put you up to this???

him: umm....

me: ok..ok...konamako kiyane? (offering the kiddo a seat on the sofa)

him: you can call me imma.. :)

me: this is just...too.......

him: maa lahun dho miadhevunee.... :S

me: aan..maa bodah ves..

there was a lotta small talk with me trying to get vanings the whole situation..and finally i told him it was too late for house visits and he went all "i will come a lil early next time"...it was just too damn funny!!!!....and he looked so naive and innocent...it was just...soo.......seriously, if it had been like any other partey sorta guy..i would have called up everybody in the house and got him out in 2 seconds...but the kiddo looked so innocent...and so neingifa..and he kept trying to act varah calm but he was sooo nervous...(the fact that i was wearing a tshirt that said 'you are boring me' and had my enormous kokko whose around 5'7 looking at him as though he was gonna kill him with his eyes probably dint help the poor kid either ;P)

life is just full of weird surprises these days...hehe....a kid stalker...hmm... :P

Chop Sticks...Stop Chicks!

2009-01-31T11:25:00.000-08:00

this was just a random converstaion i had with a friend of mine... and i managed to utter the words.. "im totally bloggin about this afterwards" so here goes :P

Birdeee : Why the hell are lovebirds called LOVEbirds???

Me : Err....i dunno...cux they are in love with each other.. *goes dreamy eyed*...

Birdee : You know what i think?

Me : Mmmm...? *still dreamy eyed*

Birdee : I think they are just forced to be together!!...cux they are trapped in a cage...TOGETHER!! all the TIME!!....and this lil kid comes around all the time and pokes them....!

Me : *all lovey dovey dreams shattered*....*sigh*...i'm so bloggin about this....

the world as we know it...

2009-01-27T01:38:00.000-08:00

Creating a world must have been tough...just imagine..creating the seeds, from which the plants would grow...making blue-prints of what trees must look like...creating systems through which it could survive (ie; respire, make food, reproduce...)...and the varieties...so many species...so much creation... and then creating the tiny lil insects which would live amongst these plants...with their unique appearences...and amazing abilities... the animals, made to be majestic and ruling of the kingdoms...each with its distinctive appearence and role in life... the birds, that fill the sky...with beautiful patterns of flocks..or just a single bold one...on the look out for prey... what about the deep oceans?..with their own flora and fauna, creating a mass ecosystem..almost oblivious to the land creatures... and of course the amphibians, who choose neither land nor sea...and live their lives in mystery... and what of the skies, mountains and the seas of water themselves? and volcanoes filled with lava....rivers streaming through to oceans....forestlands...coral reefs...and so many of the many ecosystems which create the earth's biosphere... each having a purpose..each giving a little..to create a lot...

finally the man...humans..homo sapiens..with their rules and order of anarchy...their ways of peace through war...their path of enlightment with no light...their livesof purpose through entertainment...their wisdom which even for them is just riddles....

how we managed to gain control of the world is nothing short of a miracle...how narcisstic we are...to believe we are the ones who deserve this beautiful planet...how ignorant we are...to think that we could do whatever we want in here and not pay a price...how stubborn we are...to say its upto us to change this world..that its upto us to decide the future...

oh, how little we know...

photo: in bio lab...doing some weird experiment :)

abortion?

2009-01-06T10:33:00.000-08:00

isn't it ironic that people think of abortion as 'taking care' of the baby....("getting it taken care of")

humans are seriously fudged up....

untitled

2009-01-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

running through life

living by everybody's rules
tired of the echoing lies
said and repeated
by all these fools

trapped in pure hatred
for sins that others commit
left by those most cared
for whom you go
beyond love's limit

who is to blame for your loss?
they ask
you, and only you
they say

signs of obsession

2008-11-24T20:41:00.000-08:00

• An instant attraction to romantic interest, usually occurring within the first few minutes of meeting.

• An immediate urge to rush into a relationship regardless of compatibility.

• Becoming "hooked on the look" of another, focusing on the person's physical characteristics while ignoring personality differences.

• Unrealistic fantasies about a relationship with a love interest, assigning "magical" qualities to an object of affection.

• The beginnings of obsessive, controlling behaviors begin to manifest.

• Unfounded thoughts of infidelity on the part of a partner and demanding accountability for normal daily activities.

• An overwhelming fear of abandonment, including baseless thoughts of a partner walking out on the relationship in favor of another person.

• The need to constantly be in contact with a love interest via phone, email or in person.

• Strong feelings of mistrust begin to emerge, causing depression, resentment and relational tension.

• The continuation and escalation of obsessive, controlling behaviors.

• The onset of "tunnel vision," meaning that the relationally dependent person cannot stop thinking about a love interest and required his or her constant attention.

• Neurotic, compulsive behaviors, including rapid telephone calls to love interest's place of residence or workplace.

• Unfounded accusations of "cheating" due to extreme anxiety.

• "Drive-bys" around a love interest's home or place of employment, with the goal of assuring that the person is at where "he or she is supposed to be."

• Physical or electronic monitoring activities, following a love interest's whereabouts throughout the course of a day to discover daily activities.

• Extreme control tactics, including questioning a love interest's commitment to the relationship (guilt trips) with the goal of manipulating a love interest into providing more attention.

• Overwhelming feelings of depression (feeling "empty" inside).

• A sudden loss of self-esteem, due to the collapse of the relationship.

• Extreme feelings of self-blame and at times, self-hatred.

• Anger, rage and a desire to seek revenge against a love interest for breaking off the relationship.

• Denial that the relationship has ended and attempting to "win a loved one back" by making promises to "change".

• The use of drugs, alcohol, food or sex to "medicate" the emotional pain.

....fudge

let it go...

2008-11-20T05:50:00.000-08:00

let it go-the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise-let it go it
was sworn to
go
let them go-the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and the neithers-you must let them go they
were born
to go
let all go-the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things-let all go
dear
so comes love

= E. E. Cummings=

this poem kinda spoke to me...i havnt been able to write anything like this...and it had the exact things i wanted to get out...what i have been meaning to say..but just couldnt...

:)

Understanding...homo sapiens

2008-11-19T09:45:00.000-08:00

wow....i can actually see the dust settling in the corners...

sorry bloggy....just wasn't in the mood to write anything....

OK …it’s been a flow of emo poems and psycho-babble for the last few months and i’d been wanting to write about something really constructive in here for a long time…its just that I don’t get much time to put in the thoughts into words (I know, I know…age old excuse..but its still true!) and actually post a sane post…:S

So here goes…

I realized something eerily disturbing about human beings (in general, not pointing fingers!) the past few days...

Humans, like many animals, stick to herds. And they prefer to be at conformity and the same level as everybody else. It makes them feel normal; like they belong. The many of you who are shaking there head, as you read this are probably in denial...so ask yourself, do you doubt yourself, and your ideas when everybody else doesn't agree with them? do you laugh at jokes that you don't get? i'm guessing your answer is yes...anyways, all i'm saying is even with the lectures you get as you grow up about 'expressing your individuality' and 'being yourself', many of us would rather have the comfort of being what people would refer to as 'normal'. and the rest who don't are normally deprived of attention and thus try to attain it by defying comformity.. by being a rebel...an exhibitionist...

we study, becuase it's what we are supposed to do...what normal people do...and those who don't are just trying to seek the attention of the conformists...trying to make them notice the poor soul...the attention-whore....

we pray, because everybody obeys God...and are scared of Him...and you think its the right thing to do because everybody agrees on that...and the few that don't are trying to get noticed...trying to break out from the abnormal 'normail routine' that the human race follows, without a question...and thus, without an answer...

there was...

2008-11-05T03:47:00.000-08:00

in a lil room
there'a a chair
and a cupboard
full of clothes, books and god knows what
there's a desk
and two beds
one filled with teddy bears, and fluffy pillows
one pretty much blank and unseen
there's a lil window...but it doesnt open
it doesnt show the outside world
it shows the curvature of the wooden wall next to it
there's a rack, clothes all over it
on the top there's another shelf filled with books
the extension board is right below the desk...and the cables run all around the lil room
some towards the bed...up the bed...
there's a printer under the rack...and another table right next to the cuoboard
there's a chair in the middle of the rooom
and the a/c is on...

it's friggin cold...

2052 letters...

2008-10-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

days keep passing by without so much as a letter put in here...i suppose i have been 'busy' with the tests and all the political hassle..really dint know what to write about and what not to..

but right now...now that i have actually took some time to actually bother (reason: tomrw is maths test...and i hate maths) i have nothing to say. My mind went completely blank (except for the trignometric graphs which just wudnt leave...*sigh*)

all in all, these past few weeks have been pretty gloomy and yet indulging at the same time. not sure that its possible?...well, me neither...but seeing is believing right? :P

i had been meaning to ramble somthing in here about the political shenanigans occuring in the country but somehow i felt quite seperated from it...UNTIL....they painted the house in BLUE and opened a friggin 'jagaha' infront of my house...aaah...such beautiful melodies you can hear from the places (im being sacrastic)...and the sights are quite daunting too..i think i managed to get a good look at maummon's baldy head from overhead...seriously, the thing just sparkles in sunlight! O_O

anyways, i feel like i have been personally assaulted way too many times for me to take this sitting down... -.- so ....we'll see what i do ..wish me luck :P

while we are on the topic of the famous bald one, one cannot stop oneself from thinking the inevitable; why him again? hasn't he done enough for our 'gaum'..this country doesn't need another 5 years of chaos. it needs change. it needs to realise that a bridge is not going to solve anything...that is, in the unlikely event that a bridge magically appears. there is no possiblity to make a bridge in the seabed of this country (scientifically proven!). the seabed is too soft and the sea too shallow. to make a bridge that would withstand all the obstacles that is gonna come across would take a hell of money out of the country's treasury! ofcourse, since building the friggin bridge is wayyyy more important than...let me think...hmmm....fresh water and living necessaties for our dear citizens?? ofcourse it is! *eye roll*

more than that, what i really really don't understand from these baldy fans is just one thing. They all accept that maumoon dint do a veyr good job with the country in the past THIRTY (hehe cudnt help that :P) years..but yet...baldy doesn't even have to apologize...talk about egoistic O_O a small 'im sorry' would have been fine..but NO...hes wayyy above it all, isnt he?..

sheesh...

t_a_g_g_e_d

2008-10-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

i got tagged by silent smuuurf..

so here goes..

1. what's ur latest addiction? sleeeeep!! (honest! ask my mum!!)
2. what are u listening to? OneRepublic - Stop n Stare
3. how late did u stay up last night n why? around 12-ish?
4. who were u with last friday night? i don't remember....umm... kaidhdha, hudhuma and i.nern?
5. do u think u'll be in a relationship 3 months from now? i'm not saying anything..i might jinx it! O_O
6. when is the next time u'll see ur close friends? in a couple of hours?
7. what were u doing this morning at 7am? sleeping...duh!!!
8. what radio station do u listen to the most? i don't... :/
9. what was the reason u last cried? that's one heck of a personal question, u know...O_o
10. have u ever talked to someone when they were high? yeah!! tehe
11. what's the fifth text in ur inbox say? lemme check.."U!!!...hmmmph!"
12. where was the last coffee shop u went to? i forgot!...i think it was lily's....or skippy...
13. what's ur outfit right now? err...PJ's!! ^^
(i dunno where 14 and 15 disappeared to... :/)
16. what were u doing at 11pm last night? multi-tasking :P
17. who was the last person u talked to last night before bed? him ^^
18. will u be driving in a year? oooooooooooooh yeah!!!!
19. is there anything that u are craving right now? chocolate mousse' *sigh*.....*drool*
20. when did ur last hug take place? just now....tehe....my kokky is sooo huggable (when not in fight mode, that is)
(no 21 either....O_O)
22. have u ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."? No offense, but yeah.. :P
23. Do u drink tea? Once in a blue moon
24. have u ever been arrested? no....
25. have u rode in someone else's car today? yeah
26. have u made a mistake this past week? including or excluding school tests/hoemwork? both ways, its a yes :P
27. who was the last person u texted? a guy
28. are u happy with ur life right now? to some extent, yes! very much
29. in the past 72 hr have u been under the influence of sleep?.. duuuuuh!...yes!
30. what's the connection between u and the last person u texted? cousins...?

i tag.....err....the whole of the blogosphere!!!muahahhaaahaa!!....no?...im not allowed to do that?..damn!...ok then, i tag crimson solace and kainotophobia... :)

Prologue (contd...)

2008-10-12T04:55:00.000-07:00

the continuation of this

“Now, that’s where everyone of them goes wrong.”She grinned at the baron, “if you think you are the first person who have tried to pursue me since I disappeared you are definitely more stupid than you look and that s saying a lot compared to what you look like at the moment. Honestly, have you heard of a thing called detergent?”

“I havn’t come to pursue you, ma’am. Infact, I have much to do and say…”The barons voice faded into a shivery silence as she realized what was happening

“Stop…right there...”she snarled at the baron.

“Aha? Whose going to stop me?” the baron looked around, “…you?...You?...or…” turning towards her, “..YOU?...heh…you are so pathetic, its almost amusing.”

She wanted to scream. But what good would that do? The sailor was already fastening her hands together so tightly it almost made her wince. Almost.

“Now, now, dear…I wouldn’t do anything to you in front of all these people…that would be disgraceful” he motions towards the captains cabinet, “after you. Mademoiselle…”

She looked at him with such cold eyes that he would have frozen under the hot sun. As she walked toward the cabinet a smile slowly crept up her face. “You know Mr.Clagdon? I have done this before…”

“All the better, my dear” the baron was surprised, but living in a ship full of sailors, who wouldn’t have? He rushed her inside and closed the door, smirking at the gaping sailors.

As the sailors watched in awe, light flooded through the holes of the cabinet door. There was a loud thud…and then nothing…Then, the doorknob turned and it opened revealing her, in grace and unharmed. “You know what to do with our guests, men…” Her command was menacing and chilly, and of course, obeyed.

She quickly returned to the small hut in the other side of the boat. Her heat beating faster than it had in years. If what the baron had told was true…everything would into chaos again…worse than that was the fact that her secret was out…there was no doubt from the look of the men outside that they had seen what had happened…and even if they hadn’t, how could she explain the body of the baron, lying on the floor of the captain’s cabin, paralyzed with fear? How could she hvae been stupid enough to use her powers on such mindless games? But what’s done is done…after what he told there was no way she could have let him off…she had to carry out her father’s wishes now….and she will have to kill again…

this is annoying...

2008-10-10T02:31:00.000-07:00

my dates are undefined...but i love this theme soooooo much O_O

and i cant figure out how to change this date ah araa ethi...*sigh*

41...14

2008-10-09T02:58:00.000-07:00

?

2008-09-30T13:36:00.000-07:00

You keep on walking...and walking...and you never stop...cause life is that way. There is no pausing or rewinding to change what you did...you can't just freeze for a moment...to allow your mind to comprehend what is happening...no, life is it's own death walk. We walk and walk...without the slightest of hesitation...not because we are brave...but because we are cowards...'cause we are scared of what we would see if we turned around...if we just stopped and looked...

do you dare to turn?

Your future...revealed

2008-09-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

Birth. Learn. Study. Study. Study. Study. Marry ( multiplied by times desired, less than or equal to 4). Kid (multiplied by number desired). Retire. Die.

NOTE: this prediction is subjected to change due to various physical factors. These may include mental stability, accidents and miracles.

the paradox of life...

2008-09-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

Who say's the blind is unlucky?

Who cannot see the wretched flames

which burn through life so easily

Whose eyes need not comprehend

the magnitude of loss that's seen

Who need not see the hues of light

before being thrusted into darkness

...

No, not without a fight

For surrender, I cant

and tremble, I won't

For I will blind myself of all your hate

and i shall stride above thy names

I think I'm back...!

2008-08-30T06:55:00.000-07:00

Errr....hi pplzz...!! xD

It's been a while....

(feels weird doing this now..)

anyways, i was outta this place for a couple of months...

...didnt really want to blog...

*silence*

...

well, the point is, im back now =D

and will be posting now and then...

not as often as i used to...

and i made a few changes in the blog as well

(u like 'em??)

and hopefully (if i have enough time) i'll be using only

pics taken by me in my posts...

oh yeah, and to dat person who made a comment about my 'dots'...

i have always been a three-dotter... :P

sigh

2008-08-23T12:12:00.006-07:00

I may not be perfect…but I am all I can be….

Prologue...

2008-04-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

She tilted her head up in obedience. Outside the small hut in the boat, she could here the many voices. Strong voices bellowing her name; yet, she set in the back, staring at the opening of the hut with her huge brown eyes, unable to grasp what was happening. The light streaming in through the opening stung her eyes, but she was incapable of looking away. She stared in dread as two men marched into the hut. The time had come. They knelt besides her and shouted out something in Spanish. One of them quickly shot out of the hut.

“Are you alright?” The man asked with extreme caution.

She did not reply. Instead, she stood up, dusted off her Mantua and shot a look of disgust at the man.

“You are late.” She spoke in a harsh voice entirely in contrast with the callow and innocent face.

“I know, ma’am. But the sailors…” His voice trailed off with hints of uncertainty.

She did not bother to respond. Swiftly, she walked towards the opening, and looked outside. Her face showed no hints of the fear she had inside. Nor did it have any traces of the shock she had withstood. In fact, her face was…almost blank…purely emotionless.

“Ma’am, there’s still danger…” The man hastily walked up to her.

“I am leaving.” It was as though she had not heard the man. Or at least chose to ignore it. Her first step outwards startled her. The incredible heat of the aluminum floorboard was agonizing on her bare feet. She had been away from the sun so long that the unbearable heat of the afternoon heat stung her skin like pins and needles. But she had suffered worse. Without so much as a flinch, she moved outside. The gentle rocking of the boat didn’t seem to affect her. He walk was as graceful and steady as it had always been.

That’s when the guns started firing.

She dropped. From a few feet she could hear the man moaning. Perhaps he thought she was dead? She waved her hand slightly up in the air for the man to see, the least she could do.

“aargh, my pretty dress!”Wrinkling her nose with disgust, she quickly crawled towards the edge of the boat. She squinted her eyes to see across the deep blue sea. Much to her surprise, she could only make out one ship at a far distance. “Where the heck are those bullets showering out from?” Her sleek confident look was replaced with dumbfounded confusion.

“My...My…isn’t this a wonderful surprise? The lost royal ship and along with it…the beautiful dame of the country herself!” snickers were followed by the anonymous comment.

She darted her head towards the edge of the ship. Dressed in the usual shipmen clothing, Sir Clagdon looked like any old sailor. No wonder he didn’t catch her eye before. She rolled her eyes as she straightened up and curtseyed towards the baron. “I had no idea you were into the sea-nic route, sir” she replied gritting her teeth.

Oh, of course you wouldn’t know! How long has it been? 2? 3 years? My dear, I have been trying to bump into you since you disappeared…where have you been?”The baron still had the cheesy smile plastered across his face.

“oh..here and there…though I am quite startled to hear that the baron himself has had such an interest on me to actually come out into these dreadful seas to search for me personally” The amused tone in her voice was as blunt as it could be.

“Ain’t you a sharp tongue? Now, lets get you comfortable in this ropes so that we could have a much more comfortable talk? He indicated towards a man to his side, “would you like to do the honors?”

“I havn’t come to pursue you, ma’am. Infact, I have much to do and say…”The barons voice faded into a shivery silence as she realized what was happening.

pic by me :)

please feel very free to comment on this. it's my first time writing fiction and this was just a mixture of a little bit of cynicism and imagination...

teehee....

2008-04-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

I'm a barbie girl

In a barbie world...

Life in plastic..

*snigger*

It's fantastic

*wide grin*

im baack...

if you are wondering about the weird baribie girl song...

its varah loabi and freaky and weird...all rolled and chaskohlaafa into one.. :P

it also kinda made me realize something the other day...

i realised that...

tan tanaaaa!!!

*drum roll*

...

we are all very plastic...

and also the song made me realize how materialistic we actually are...

and somehow I don't really mind being a bit materialistic

because

when I come to think of it...

i can imagine my future without a partner (as lonely as it would be...i could still imagine it)

but i can't imagine myself without a good job (with a huge salary ofcux :P)

and a nice place of my own...

i just can't..

and i like it :D

so there...

im materialistic..and i love myself for it...!

pic from deviantart

Day Four: IGMH, corruption and all that mayo...

2008-03-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

Can you believe I spent the entire day in IGM hospital???

Seriously!! …and all this to do 2 tests..!!!

I actually went there yesterday too. But since the tests I needed done were instructed by ADK they also needed some other papers as well (my bad..should have brought all the papers dho?) but they made us sit there for around 2 hrs before telling us..*eye roll*

And today was worse..we went there at around noon..(with all the papers…ain’t I good?) but ofcourse that wouldn’t be enough would it? No, no, nooo.. we have to get photocopies of it to them…and so me and my mum dragged ourselves around maafanu trying to find a photocopying service…and being the everchanging and ‘modern’ place Male’ is…there wasn’t one.

So we finally drove to galolhu..got the copies and gave them to the laboratory peeps..i figured that should do it right?..No, no, nooo…we had to fill another form..get a patient card (I am NOT a patient, I yell inside my head) and dhen after all that we got the bill for the tests..and they didn’t have a card jaha thingy..(my mood eygadeega: really pissed off and nidhiburanthi) ..thankfully my mum managed to scrap out the cash from her purse..

after another 15 minutes sitting outside the laboratory we were let in, and the girl there took blood…in the freakiest way I have ever seen O_O …hama asluves…first they couldn’t find a naaru in my arm so they stuck it in my hand…when the blood didn’t flow…she pumped the blood out of the hand!!..i mean, like literally pumped it athah fihthaigen! Hehe…was really funny though…

Dhen rulhi aima bunaane rulhi aee yei..

Rulhi aisgen blog kureema bunaame blog kureeyei..

Ekamu mee dhen kuda kamehtha?...*bo halaak*

Day Three: Untold Tales

2008-03-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

Today has been a day of unraveling...a day of discovery and realizations...a day of pondering and fruitions...and i, being so bountiful and giving, would love to share them with you...

:P..

TALE 1: Con artists of Male'

Told by: My Dhatha while we were in IGMH

Here's how it goes:

It wasn't a busy day in IGM Hospital. Everybody moving around without much attention to anybody who didn't look like a partey..the usual maldivian treatment. In comes our heroes, dressed in office wear.In their hands is an empty donation box, just like the one in IGMH. Both of them heads straight to the donation box for thalassemic pateints, lifts it up, exchanges the both, carries the original one out. in broad daylight. Infront of eveyrbody..and nobody noticed a thing...hehe..amazing!!

TALE 2 :Hulhumale' Rai Kujja

Told by: My mummy...

Here's how it goes:

It was midnight. A hulhumale' taxi driver stops infront of the terminal. A young girl enters the taxi and the taxi driver takes her to the her destination. He decides to call it a day after that and heads home. After he reaches home he steps out of the vehicle and takes a look at the back seat to check...and in the back seat sat the girl...

..dressed in red...

..with a maniacal grin..

..and arms streched towards the driver as though waiting to strangle him ..

and the driver fled as fast as he could..reached inside his house...and barely told the story..when he died....O_O

TALE 3: Romeo and Juliet (episode no. 11)

Told by: Juliet herself

Here's how it goes:

Romeo and Juliet had been together for a while now. Juliet's mother does not permit the relationship. And jealousy had sprung among enemies of Romeo for his new found love. Love makes you do stupid things. Jealousy makes you do extremely idiotic yet hurtful things. The day Romeo and Juliet reached their island after being away from each other, the enemies of Romeo plotted a way to renounce the love of these two lovebirds. And so they thought up the very 'original' plan of spraying the names of the lovers on walls of some the houses in the island.(wow..how original)

That night, after the enemies had carried out their evil deed, Romeo came to know of this misdeed. When he reached the scene of crim..kamaku dhaakah nei..they had written both Romeo and Juliet's names with a lot of sick notations.

And you know what Romeo did?

...

He sprayed over the graffiti (no scratch that, thats an insult to graffiti! make it sprayings)...but even then the names were pretty obvious...

And then do you know what Romeo did?

...

He got a knife..and scrapped the spray paint off the wall...he even used a naurgandu to wash ot all off...

...

By dawn, the walls were blank (except for a whole lot of scratchs :P)...

ekamuves...loabi dho?

O_O

(hopefully will bring the whole Romeo and Juliet story sometime soon :D)

(pics from deviantart)

Day Two: A Lot More Than A Drizzle

2008-03-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

Okay..i figured i'll save you guys the torture of reading through another day of my life...

SO...

i thought i'll torture your eyes by letting you watch it...

*blink* *blink*

ain't i nice? :D

so...here goes....the pics are from my phone so ehaa saaf eh nuvaane..

umm...felt really good after seeing the plant...new beginnings from old roots... :D

Ma lil cuz kokky!!!.. loook!!! he's wearing pooh bear diapers!! loabi dhooo? *wink*

VIENNETTA!!!!!!!! O_O

brotherly luuurv by my lil ammu and iyaako

actually a wedding invitation from loooong looong ago....but was addicted to taking pics today and this was just too beauuutiful not to :P

BEFORE niyafathi kendun

AFTER niyafathi kendun *sniff*

terrible color..extremely ugly...but you can't help but agree with what it says..:P

i also managed to get a full detailed explanation of the reproductive systems in humans by my dear sir.:P

..and managed to have the best night i have had in a while..even though it was raining...and i got velli into my faivan..and with the heebihinegun and all..guess it is true...eveyrthing seems to be wayyy better when you are with the right people..

*happy sigh*

Day One : One for the Sisters

2008-03-14T12:05:00.000-07:00

As fate would have it, the day turned out to be pretty good. Thank you God! Just after I finished the other post my mum came over and insisted on taking me shopping. Looking like a ragged little piece, I decided to go along with it and spent the next hour and half prancing around Majeedhi Magu looking like…well, shit. And it felt good…seriously, it did. Everybody was all dressed up (Friday haveeru afterall!) and I got a lot of what-the-heck stares from people…but..what the heck :P… The shopping spree ended with me getting a completely obi new phone (a w880i *fonivefa*) and pants for Orchid(that’s my cuz )

After the initial high of getting the phone, and her own highs of certain gifts received (ehmm…ehmm…*wink*) Orchid got a little aimuni muni kevi and managed to somehow spill some weird looking powder all over my study table…(hehe…don’t worry girl..i forgive ya..it was fun cleaning it up before mum came :P) We had to spend quite a while cleaning that mess up…especially since the room was a complete mess to begin with…

All in all, a pretty good day one, eh? Especially since I got to watch (..and cry while I did so) one tree hill’s latest 2 episodes!!...*sniff*…at least I got to watch it with you, orchid!...thanks for today…

Bored..aaargh!!!

2008-03-14T03:15:00.001-07:00

bored...bored...bored...BORED!!
:(
...ok, here's the deal... it's been approx. 15 hrs since the start of mid term break...and i am officially nidhi buraanthi!!! completely vai vefa... who knew you could miss school so much?...damn...
SO....
since i have absolutely nothing to do (i could study but...you know :P) im planning a 11 day thingy for myself...
the object is to force myself out of the bed and do something fun...every day :D aaargh...hope this works..
wish me luck you guys..

high...high...high!!!!!!

2008-03-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

so easy it is..
to just fade from one phase to another..
from one emotion to yet another..
its so easy to just get high...
jump up and loose myself...up,up and away...
keep my feet way up high
and do cartwheels up to the heavens
not that i need to touch the sky
just need to feel that high
to feel the wind brush against your skin
feel it just around and too within
leaves that flows around you like in fall
and clouds that twirl and swirl
like ballerinas pretty and small
vanilla and apple scents so close
crazy and colored in wisps it flows
blank eyes that stare from below
waiting for those many flaws
lol..u aint seeing nuthin'
i'm just too good at pretending darlin'

umm...hehe...don't ask...this is just me getting high..got into an obsession of making them rhyme...don't think it worked though :P..this actually makes sense only when the reader is high..was going through a lot of inner changes when i wrote that :P..and making a lot of realizations...came to terms with a lot of things about myself...maybe if i focus things into what it really should be..things are just going to turn out okay..don't mind this psychotic talk...reassurance takes a lot of time and patience..and a lot of typing...hehe...

(pic: from deviantart...as usual :p)

distuurbing movie of the year... O_O

2008-03-09T12:41:00.000-07:00

(THINK THIS POST CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT...DON’T VIEW IF YOU ARE umm... YOUNG)

Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

This was completely coincidental..ekamu ves women’s day a gulhigen I incidentally watched a very heart wrenchingly thadhuvethi movie…the most captivating part of it was that it was actually based one a true story (later on I came to know that the actual story was much more horrific O_O)

Here’s a kuda overview of what it was about:

(teet..teet…spoiler alert)

After they loose their parents to a car accident, Meg and Susan Loghlin are forced to live with their aunt (called Ruth Chandler)…Ruth has this freakishly psychotic dislike towards girls (especially the two) and seems to enjoy having the whole of the neighborhoods kids(and I mean KIDS!) over at her place drinking beer and smoking..Ruth’s dislike grows more apparent when the alcoholic Ruth soon starts to abuse the sisters, which ends with physical torture and sexual abuse of Meg imprisoned in the basement. Ruth and the neighborhood kids join up to make this game in which each thinks up ways of torturing the girls. The movie is viewed from the eyes o f the only sane kid on the neighborhood, David Moran…and focuses on his attempt to save the two sisters…

Quotes from the movie:

Ruth: …(to the kids)take a lesson boys, now listen up close. This is important. All you gotta do is be nice to a woman..and she’ll do all sorts of good things for you…***…promise them a little something and you can have whatever you want, half the time…***…(gives back Meg the painting she made for David)..take it back…and I hope this painting is all you have given him..cuz you already got what men want right down there…*grins*..and it ain’t your god damn artwork..!

Ruth: If I see any slutting around here…Your ass is grass…And your aunty Ruth’s the lawn mower...

David: I can’t make them stop..you know.. I would if I could…

Ruth: ..(after etching the words “I f*ck. F*ck me" on Meg’s stomach)..You see Meggy?..Now you won’t have to get married…can’t take your clothes off…not for anybody… You are better off…no man would want you…won’t have the burden of kids…you are lucky…you thought it was good to be cute…to be sexy..a woman is better off loathsome in this world..

Ruth’s Kid1: You are right mum…she ain’t so much anymore…

Ruth: Wait a minute…we’ve got her so..no man will ever want her… Problem is, see (lights up cig)..Meg may still want him…life of torment there…a woman doesn’t want a man all over her body…no…she just wants him in one particular place…***…you take out that spot, you know what happens? You take out all of her desire…you take it out forever..it works…***…we just take out that one little spot…we’ll burn it out…*smiles*..and then our Meg would be perfect..!

(teet..teet…end of spoiler alert)

The movie is much more horrific and disturbing…And makes you really just, loathe people…makes you realise what a sick bunch human beings really are...
You could see the real story this movie is based upon in here.

Finding the way....

2008-03-07T16:31:00.001-08:00

After the drizzle of the rain
And the smoky fog clears up the way
After the snow had forgotten to fall
And the flakes had melted beneath your feet
The pure swift wind brushes your skin
And the strands of hair
Bends in obedience to the wind
And leaves you with an exhaling sense
Of lucid translucent clarity
Unclog my vision
And clear up my path
Make the wind blow against this wrath
Let the ashes go to dust
And let the future take over the past

(pic from spongy ge stuff...but probably taken from deviantart)

Breaking free...!

2008-03-05T12:15:00.000-08:00

Life has turned into such a routine setup. It’s as though we are living just for the sake of living. Not even living I suppose, merely existing…just because we were created. The dullness of life is so obvious now. Just think about this:

Mom and Dad gets married. They have a Kid (some have kids without getting married too…but that’s beside the point). Kid grows up. Goes to Pre-school….then Elementary School..then High School…maybe college/university…gets a degree or higher…gets a job…in the process or after, gets married. And the cycle starts over again…

And it really makes you wonder…

Was this all we were sent here to do? I know..we were sent to obey God ..*eye roll* I know that… what I mean is, if God expects us to just pray and worship Him, he wouldn’t have created any matter.. So God definitely expects us to do something worthwhile while we are down here…right? But the way our lives are shaped…all we really do is cause overpopulation, over pollution and God knows what else is going overboard because of us!

Overall conclusion? We simply compromise with whatever life throws at us…either ‘cause we are too lazy or forced to do so. And rarely comes a time when we actually stand up and just for once, try to break free from the chains in which society has entangled us in.

So, I guess this is a shout out to ya’all…lets break away from these chains…like his ‘hai-ness’ once said, “education shouldn’t shape us, we should shape our education.”

(pic from deviantArt)

sniff..oh da humanity!!!!

2008-02-29T04:04:00.000-08:00

yesh...there are people like that..

cruel cruel people....

*sniff*

who take away stuff that means soo much to you...

how could they??

it was so pretty...

and so nice...

so wonderful....

and with all those pretty pictures on the right corner..

and those long nights of mindless chatter...

all gone..

all taken away...

how could you??

and all those emotions...

that i had saved...

and my name..

my identity..

why did they take it away?

still confused?

yesh...you guessed wrong...

they stole my mail add...

mean people..

*sniff*

anybody out there who can make it all better?
:(

(pic: i have no idea where i got it from...was just googling...)

I think...

2008-02-28T05:46:00.000-08:00

i think
and i think again...
but yet...
why can't i find
the reason for your smile
the happiness that jolts
straight from your eyes
the moment they sieze
infront of mine
i wonder if ever you realise
that it really isnt me
and its you
that makes everything so worthwhile
and the silences i create
are unavoidable
beacause what i have to say
is just too doubtful
and what i have realised
is just too painful
and so i rest my case
and i start thinking again..

(drawing: Person At The Window by Salvador Dali)

I've been Tagged!!! :O

2008-02-26T11:19:00.000-08:00

(tagged by LavenderGirl)

A - Available?: Umm....err...for wat?? *wiggles eyebrows*

B-Best friend: Spongy,the nut and munnu!!! :P

C-Cake or Pie?: Cake....blueberry cheese cake that is.... *sigh*

D-Drink of choice: Umm...those tingly flavored stuff they sell in IWOOT r pretty nice..

E-Essential thing used everyday: My brain...and heart....and lungs...

F-Favourite colour: Cream...and all those pwetty light colors...and orange...

G-Gummi bears or worms: Gummi bears!!! :D

H-Hometown: Male'

I-Indulgence: Chocolates and maaaarshmallows!!!

J-January or February: February....duh!! :P

K-Kids and names: Umm...errr...??? *scratches head*

L-Life: Crazy, shitty, worthy, fun...all rolled into one...deal with it..

M-Marriage date: O_O Wat da??????

N-Number of siblings: Umm...zero-ish...sorta...or maybe 4 or 3...depends on any lost sisters and brothers i might have that my mum and dad havnt told me about.. (i kid!!)

O-Oranges or apples: Both i guess...

P-Phobias: Soteriophobia, Lockiophobia...(u asked for it.. :P)

Q-Quote: Too many quotes to write here.. :P

R-Reason to smile: My kokky's cute and adorable stories, adventures with spongy and the nut, and pretty much anything that's even remotely funny or cute... :)

S-Season: Umm..errr one tree hill season 5?...or prison break season 3? or better avatar season3!! :P

T-Tag three people: bubbletoes, silentsmurrfs and ShaHa...

U-Unknown fact about me: cmon!!..let me be all short, fair (??)and mysterious *wink*

V-Vegetable you do not like: Wow..i wonder why i never thought about it...such crucial information..*looks profound*..no idea.. :S

W-Worst habit: Shooting jerks with RPGs when others aint looking...wait...thats a good thing! :P

X-x-rays you have had: Umm...loooooads...chest xrays mostly..and 1 of the feet and hand..

Y-Your favorite food: Anything edible if i am hungry...

Z-Zodiac: Aquarius...

ok...there you go!!... :D

(photo from somewhere in my lappie...)

Memories...

2008-02-24T09:59:00.000-08:00

What blossoms today..
Wilts away tomorrow
What we await tonight
We push away again
And alas, we stand at night
With regret for what we had
And what we faced
What could have
And what we flaked away
What we grasped
And what we let go
Without a thought
With such serenity placed in our minds
And we await…
Yearning for those days we spent
Under the moon
In the abandoned sheets of dust
The love that formed so true in heart
Of those who loved and was truly loved
And alas,
I stand alone tonight
With no regret but memories to remind
The beauty of that
We once had….we once kept…

Those three words....eye roll

2008-02-23T11:29:00.000-08:00

I am very confused (I knw, aint I always :P)

No seriously.... remember the most overrated 3 words in English? I find it very difficult to comprehend these three words together… I know I am being very hypocritical here having said these words myself… But one cant help but wonder what the real meaning of these three words is….

And thus, my journey inside my brain started….Twisting and turning through the folds..and mind you, there are many folds..

First, lets try to elaborate these words further:

I : is the name that is given to the speaker/author etc…

LOVE : (god forbid, I aint going to even start defining this one…..) but, it is definitely an emotion…I think….aargh..lets just say it’s a verb :)

YOU: the person being addressed to

Therefore, these three word combines together to portray an emotion that one feels towards another. Hence, it is not to be catalysed or detracted by any outside parties. Nor could it be transformed to include others in it… These three words are very pure and harsh to their point…

So I ask, What the heck happened???

I mean, No offense to all of you romantics out there…but love has become so overrated these days… everybody thinks anybody can do it… And these 3 words.. they are said over and over again.. like a mantra… until it lost all meaning.. and you begin to doubt the existence of it (the emotion, not the verb)…

Truth is, most of us have fallen in love with the idea of being in love.. the pink rose petals.. the red hearts.. and those cute cupids with their diapers.. some of us have already gone so far as designing our wedding gowns and the house we plan to live in… My point is, we have forgotten the ‘YOU’… I don’t blame us…the word is pretty darn confusing when combined with the other 2 words.. You see, when we love somebody… its not just him/her that we need… it’s the feeling of loving somebody and being loved by somebody…

More supporting evidence to this is what romantics call “unconditional love”. This phrase defines a love that crosses any borders, any distance, any barriers…it’s a love that would forgive everything and anything…a love that would accept anything and give everything….nauseating, I knw…even though I find this phrase very hard to believe, lets just suppose its true.. in that case.. “I LOVE YOU” cannot completely define that person’s emotions towards the other… because that “YOU” could be anything if your love is uncondiotional….right?

THEREFORE, I CONCLUDE THAT

When we say “I LOVE YOU”

What we really mean is, that we love the feeling of being in love and being loved by ‘YOU’….

That doesn’t sound that bad….

Vote eh??..... :P

2008-02-18T10:01:00.000-08:00

well... the pic says it all....VOTE FOR ME!!...hehe... actually just wanted to post the badge here... :)

Most people actually didn't even get what was meant by the thing :S Enmen sorta kept saying, "ey, green maleh dheeba"..and..."For Luck??...I thought it said F**K! Lol.." hehe…it was kinda fun though..

Actually the green ma is a four leaf clover…It’s supposed to make you lucky if you find one…And considering that feeroz o is one of the leading houses (no offense to any other houses..just stating a varah simple unstatistically not-even-proven fact (a)..) I figured all it needed was a little luck to keep ‘em going…

Anyways, good luck to everybody whose running for the posts and hopefully at the end of it all we would be able to say truly that the best man did win…

Read it To Believe it...(my birthday weekend)

2008-02-16T19:40:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1 : day of the freaky firihenun..

It all began on a seemingly normal day of us .. me, sponge and the nut .. tryin on clothes in sponge’s house in vilingili ..WORD.. then we kinda sorta like umm…errr…went out of words to write on our bloggies…we still dnt..and then v kinda did think of a couple of words..yay! *hug*.. WORD… ok, here goes… we three went out with our own personal photographer *wiggle eyebrow* to take pics of us…*snicker* *snicker*…(I know…self obsessed :P)

ANYWAYS…we were at the beach taking pics near the gaathah…completely minding our own business…

WHEN WE WERE AMBUSHED!!! *gasp*!!!

6 male people ambushed us with weapons of mass reputation destruction…PHOTO NEGEY PHONES!!!..asluves eyy…. They completely covered all the angles in our base and even shoved the phones at our faces!!...even when we turned around..*sniff*..hayaai kuda dho?? O_O we quickly went away from there, and the male people climbed the ‘mountain’ and took MORE pics of us as we walked away…tsk tsk..(when will they be satisfied?) Now, us being loya civil citizens of this great nation, we decided it was our duty to report these unauthorized violators of our visual rights..so we took a couple of pics of them as well… and being the hayai kuda people they are…THEY DID THIS!!...

*eye roll*

See the guy coming down … HE’S CHASIN US!!! *gasp* so then we RAN!!! We went back to og’s place n got our stuff and got the hell out of vilingili .. lookin behind our shoulders the whole time!!... * shudder *

Well, if that wasn’t enough .. we reached male’ and was tryin to get a taxi … and the first one which stopped had THREE GUYS in it .. who actually thought we wud get into the taxi with them !!!... idiots…*eye roll*..the second taxi seemed very harmless ..there was this middle aged smiley driver .. all jolly and freakishly happy .. we got in and he starts talkin ..

Him: thin kudhin konthaakah dhanee?
Us: umm…(arikko’s place)..near (big, important place)
Him: Oh..hehe..Kokkomen beynun thaakah gengosdhevidhaane.. *seductive grin* Beybe ah ingey Vaadhevilla and (bunch of other houses)
Us: Errr…ok…
Him: Kokko men varah lasvegen that hi dhanee?
Us: No..not really…*still confoooosed*
Him: Beybe geyah kudakoh madu kohlan vegen..beybe ge dharifulhu gulhaathive..thivaruge kujje beybe g eves hureyei…
Us: Umm…ok…
Him: Great..
Us: Errr…
Him: Kokkomenah ingeytha mi kaakukan?..
Us: Kuda koh dhanna vatharu jahaa..
Him: Beybe ves ulhuneemey vilingili ga…Thankolheh kurin..Hagu ambi vilingiyah laaigen..actually dhen vagu ambi dho??...4 months vandhen ulhunemey…yada yada yada vagu ambi yada yada….
Us: Err….(starts getting uncomfy)

(Parked near house..his..O_O)

Him: Miananee ingey varah avahah dharifulhu kairi goslaafa.. Nudhahchey..(leaves…)
Us: Lets run…!!!!!!
Us: No…Yes…Maybe…What if somebody sees us..? What if he sees us?..yada yada…Pay and run…yada yada..

(Actually we decided to stay so that we can thoroughly study this freaky specimen of the male species)

Him: (comes back).. Hinga dho dhama..

..he enters the car...and...HE SMELLED..OF ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!!! HONEST!!!!!!!!...(the things that happen to us…*shakes head and looks up at the sky*…*shakes head again*

Us: (whispering)..what are we to do…?
Us: (pretends to call mums and dads so that he will overhear and realize that we do have family who will miss us after he rapes us + kills us +buries our bodies in Sultan Park…
Him: *evil maniac laugh*
Him: yada yada yada…3 dhooni…yada yada 3 boh…3 boh..yada yada yada

finally reached near home…we took a pic inside the car…and the car number is _5_7 (the dashes are there to protect the identity of the individual)

Chapter 2: Prom Night 08’

I wasn’t really expecting myself to end up in a prom on the night of my birthday, but a friend of mine kinda asked me very nicely n loabilly…so I couldn’t say no…Thus, I had a date for the prom..(well, actually A prom cuz I had no idea what was goin on..)

And I wasn’t actually going to go all pretty or anything..but I ‘had a load of pressure on me to be the prettiest girl in there'..and so this is just a lil thank you to my disaster crew who helped me get all pretty… THANKS YOU GUYS… and also to Homo…it was fun and I did enjoy it… :)

Chapter 3: The sleepover/ 00:00 – 12:00 of my b’day

Me, sponge and the nut were sleeping over at my place so pretty much every one was in da house AT THE HOUR…I got 17 pretty presents from my mummy…all of them amazingly aryjish..we went to thai wok for a family dinner..just the four of us..*sigh* i even got a cake that said “you’r 17”…like I needed to be reminded that I was getting old and wrinkled… *sniff* :P

All in all, it was a totally ogalicious b’day/day before b’day!...thanks to everybody who wished me and for all the prezzies that I got…*happy tears*… especially to my 2 oggies; sponge and nut…and my thweeth fai ‘dhatha’ :P.. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!....honestly…and thanks again…until next year…’birthday girl arykko’ has left the building…*drum roll*…

Confooooooosed....

2008-02-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

Umm…those of you who wish not to see the inauspicious side of me should refrain from reading the rest of this post..

Seriously…

Ok, here goes nothing..

I admit it..i am a fully transformed wreck. I am physically, psychologically and every-logically confused and I have no idea where my life is heading…or even where I am right now. The confusion has spread through me completely and I don’t even know what my life means anymore. The definitions they provide are so meaningless and vulgar.. things I just cant find a grasp of… the attitude, the culture. the life I am being bent down to live is nothing but pointless materialism..

Losing faith so easily..i have so many questions.. but asking them isn’t possible either.. so I lay here.. dwelling in my thoughts…until I reach a stage where I no longer understand what I need, what I want or what I posess.. and all that remains is a hurtful emptiness…

Everyday…I see them from the distance…I try to understand… don’t they question? Don’t they feel the confusion that we are heading towards?... I see religious fanatics and atheists…Goths and hippies… Kings and peasants… I wonder what drives them to the edges of the chain… and I ponder on how they manage to look at the world in such a single point of view…

Everlasting uncertainty… perhaps my questions should not be thought of..maybe my realm of wisdom is just in my own mind's eye.. but even then..what is reality?.. :S

Tummy ache... :(

2008-02-12T12:09:00.001-08:00

My tummy huuuuuuuuurts...!!!
asluves eyy...
its like having tiny little knots in the ileum...
and i even made a song for it..so that you all will take it seriously...
here it goes...

pretty lil tummy..
(raagu: jimmy please..)

pretty lil tummy
please don't hurt
i'll go eat panadol
you'll see
hand in hand
we ll go to the doc
signed with care
forever linked....

...now will you stop???..*sniff*

hint...HinT...HINT!!!!

2008-02-11T11:04:00.000-08:00

for all you clueless people out there...!! well, not really..

me like dragonflies..me obsessed about dragonflies...anything with dragonflies.. :D
me LOOOOOOVE cars!!!!...thats my next obsession..n handhaan vaa gothun somebody did promise me a Porsche Cerrera GT for my b'day...hmmm...n i wudnt mind a Bugatti Veyron with that :)
and shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes......and clothes
me don't have much of an interest in roses...except those molhethi kula kulaige ones like blue and purple..though i do like white roses (they mean innocent and pure love...)
i do like exotic (defined as weird by some ppl) flowers like bird of paradise and cella lilies...*sigh*
me also like loabi pendants..nice pwetty ones :)
and, athuga alha thingies :P
and pwetty toe rings...
yesh, me also have a thing for candles...scented ones..*double sigh*
and chocolates...loads and loads of chocolates..especially lindt..and chocolate anything...ice cream..puddings..u name it, ill eat it...*mouth watering*
teddy bears??...mmm...not much of a fan..except for one teddy given by my thweeet bro :P but me like pillows wayyy better and those ones with those kudhi kudhi beads in it which makes it very squuuuuuueezable
guitars....ofcuz!!!who doesn't have a thing for guitars??
frames n bahata maa tukuri(i learned new dhivehi word!!! molhu dho?)..i can definitely live without...except if it is homemade..n varah loabin aryj ah takaa hadhaa dheefa in echeh vejjeya.. ^.^
anything that is small and cute...*wink*

all in all, anything wierd..cute..stupid...pretty...sweet and small... see??? is it that hard???

...and my b'day just happens to be on 16th of February..dats da next saturday...(just in case u dint get vanings the above hints :P)