yesh...there are people like that..

cruel cruel people....

*sniff*

who take away stuff that means soo much to you...

how could they??

it was so pretty...

and so nice...

so wonderful....

and with all those pretty pictures on the right corner..

and those long nights of mindless chatter...

all gone..

all taken away...

how could you??

and all those emotions...

that i had saved...

and my name..

my identity..

why did they take it away?

still confused?

yesh...you guessed wrong...

they stole my mail add...

mean people..

*sniff*

anybody out there who can make it all better?
:(

(pic: i have no idea where i got it from...was just googling...)

i think
and i think again...
but yet...
why can't i find
the reason for your smile
the happiness that jolts
straight from your eyes
the moment they sieze
infront of mine
i wonder if ever you realise
that it really isnt me
and its you
that makes everything so worthwhile
and the silences i create
are unavoidable
beacause what i have to say
is just too doubtful
and what i have realised
is just too painful
and so i rest my case
and i start thinking again..

(drawing: Person At The Window by Salvador Dali)

(tagged by LavenderGirl)

A - Available?: Umm....err...for wat?? *wiggles eyebrows*

B-Best friend: Spongy,the nut and munnu!!! :P

C-Cake or Pie?: Cake....blueberry cheese cake that is.... *sigh*

D-Drink of choice: Umm...those tingly flavored stuff they sell in IWOOT r pretty nice..

E-Essential thing used everyday: My brain...and heart....and lungs...

F-Favourite colour: Cream...and all those pwetty light colors...and orange...

G-Gummi bears or worms: Gummi bears!!! :D

H-Hometown: Male'

I-Indulgence: Chocolates and maaaarshmallows!!!

J-January or February: February....duh!! :P

K-Kids and names: Umm...errr...??? *scratches head*

L-Life: Crazy, shitty, worthy, fun...all rolled into one...deal with it..

M-Marriage date: O_O Wat da??????

N-Number of siblings: Umm...zero-ish...sorta...or maybe 4 or 3...depends on any lost sisters and brothers i might have that my mum and dad havnt told me about.. (i kid!!)

O-Oranges or apples: Both i guess...

P-Phobias: Soteriophobia, Lockiophobia...(u asked for it.. :P)

Q-Quote: Too many quotes to write here.. :P

R-Reason to smile: My kokky's cute and adorable stories, adventures with spongy and the nut, and pretty much anything that's even remotely funny or cute... :)

S-Season: Umm..errr one tree hill season 5?...or prison break season 3? or better avatar season3!! :P

T-Tag three people: bubbletoes, silentsmurrfs and ShaHa...

U-Unknown fact about me: cmon!!..let me be all short, fair (??)and mysterious *wink*

V-Vegetable you do not like: Wow..i wonder why i never thought about it...such crucial information..*looks profound*..no idea.. :S

W-Worst habit: Shooting jerks with RPGs when others aint looking...wait...thats a good thing! :P

X-x-rays you have had: Umm...loooooads...chest xrays mostly..and 1 of the feet and hand..

Y-Your favorite food: Anything edible if i am hungry...

Z-Zodiac: Aquarius...

ok...there you go!!... :D

(photo from somewhere in my lappie...)

What blossoms today..
Wilts away tomorrow
What we await tonight
We push away again
And alas, we stand at night
With regret for what we had
And what we faced
What could have
And what we flaked away
What we grasped
And what we let go
Without a thought
With such serenity placed in our minds
And we await…
Yearning for those days we spent
Under the moon
In the abandoned sheets of dust
The love that formed so true in heart
Of those who loved and was truly loved
And alas,
I stand alone tonight
With no regret but memories to remind
The beauty of that
We once had….we once kept…

I am very confused (I knw, aint I always :P)

No seriously.... remember the most overrated 3 words in English? I find it very difficult to comprehend these three words together… I know I am being very hypocritical here having said these words myself… But one cant help but wonder what the real meaning of these three words is….

And thus, my journey inside my brain started….Twisting and turning through the folds..and mind you, there are many folds..

First, lets try to elaborate these words further:

I : is the name that is given to the speaker/author etc…

LOVE : (god forbid, I aint going to even start defining this one…..) but, it is definitely an emotion…I think….aargh..lets just say it’s a verb :)

YOU: the person being addressed to

Therefore, these three word combines together to portray an emotion that one feels towards another. Hence, it is not to be catalysed or detracted by any outside parties. Nor could it be transformed to include others in it… These three words are very pure and harsh to their point…

So I ask, What the heck happened???

I mean, No offense to all of you romantics out there…but love has become so overrated these days… everybody thinks anybody can do it… And these 3 words.. they are said over and over again.. like a mantra… until it lost all meaning.. and you begin to doubt the existence of it (the emotion, not the verb)…

Truth is, most of us have fallen in love with the idea of being in love.. the pink rose petals.. the red hearts.. and those cute cupids with their diapers.. some of us have already gone so far as designing our wedding gowns and the house we plan to live in… My point is, we have forgotten the ‘YOU’… I don’t blame us…the word is pretty darn confusing when combined with the other 2 words.. You see, when we love somebody… its not just him/her that we need… it’s the feeling of loving somebody and being loved by somebody…

More supporting evidence to this is what romantics call “unconditional love”. This phrase defines a love that crosses any borders, any distance, any barriers…it’s a love that would forgive everything and anything…a love that would accept anything and give everything….nauseating, I knw…even though I find this phrase very hard to believe, lets just suppose its true.. in that case.. “I LOVE YOU” cannot completely define that person’s emotions towards the other… because that “YOU” could be anything if your love is uncondiotional….right?

THEREFORE, I CONCLUDE THAT

When we say “I LOVE YOU”

What we really mean is, that we love the feeling of being in love and being loved by ‘YOU’….

That doesn’t sound that bad….

well... the pic says it all....VOTE FOR ME!!...hehe... actually just wanted to post the badge here... :)

Most people actually didn't even get what was meant by the thing :S Enmen sorta kept saying, "ey, green maleh dheeba"..and..."For Luck??...I thought it said F**K! Lol.." hehe…it was kinda fun though..

Actually the green ma is a four leaf clover…It’s supposed to make you lucky if you find one…And considering that feeroz o is one of the leading houses (no offense to any other houses..just stating a varah simple unstatistically not-even-proven fact (a)..) I figured all it needed was a little luck to keep ‘em going…

Anyways, good luck to everybody whose running for the posts and hopefully at the end of it all we would be able to say truly that the best man did win…

Chapter 1 : day of the freaky firihenun..

It all began on a seemingly normal day of us .. me, sponge and the nut .. tryin on clothes in sponge’s house in vilingili ..WORD.. then we kinda sorta like umm…errr…went out of words to write on our bloggies…we still dnt..and then v kinda did think of a couple of words..yay! *hug*.. WORD… ok, here goes… we three went out with our own personal photographer *wiggle eyebrow* to take pics of us…*snicker* *snicker*…(I know…self obsessed :P)

ANYWAYS…we were at the beach taking pics near the gaathah…completely minding our own business…

WHEN WE WERE AMBUSHED!!! *gasp*!!!

6 male people ambushed us with weapons of mass reputation destruction…PHOTO NEGEY PHONES!!!..asluves eyy…. They completely covered all the angles in our base and even shoved the phones at our faces!!...even when we turned around..*sniff*..hayaai kuda dho?? O_O we quickly went away from there, and the male people climbed the ‘mountain’ and took MORE pics of us as we walked away…tsk tsk..(when will they be satisfied?) Now, us being loya civil citizens of this great nation, we decided it was our duty to report these unauthorized violators of our visual rights..so we took a couple of pics of them as well… and being the hayai kuda people they are…THEY DID THIS!!...

*eye roll*

See the guy coming down … HE’S CHASIN US!!! *gasp* so then we RAN!!! We went back to og’s place n got our stuff and got the hell out of vilingili .. lookin behind our shoulders the whole time!!... * shudder *

Well, if that wasn’t enough .. we reached male’ and was tryin to get a taxi … and the first one which stopped had THREE GUYS in it .. who actually thought we wud get into the taxi with them !!!... idiots…*eye roll*..the second taxi seemed very harmless ..there was this middle aged smiley driver .. all jolly and freakishly happy .. we got in and he starts talkin ..

Him: thin kudhin konthaakah dhanee?
Us: umm…(arikko’s place)..near (big, important place)
Him: Oh..hehe..Kokkomen beynun thaakah gengosdhevidhaane.. *seductive grin* Beybe ah ingey Vaadhevilla and (bunch of other houses)
Us: Errr…ok…
Him: Kokko men varah lasvegen that hi dhanee?
Us: No..not really…*still confoooosed*
Him: Beybe geyah kudakoh madu kohlan vegen..beybe ge dharifulhu gulhaathive..thivaruge kujje beybe g eves hureyei…
Us: Umm…ok…
Him: Great..
Us: Errr…
Him: Kokkomenah ingeytha mi kaakukan?..
Us: Kuda koh dhanna vatharu jahaa..
Him: Beybe ves ulhuneemey vilingili ga…Thankolheh kurin..Hagu ambi vilingiyah laaigen..actually dhen vagu ambi dho??...4 months vandhen ulhunemey…yada yada yada vagu ambi yada yada….
Us: Err….(starts getting uncomfy)

(Parked near house..his..O_O)

Him: Miananee ingey varah avahah dharifulhu kairi goslaafa.. Nudhahchey..(leaves…)
Us: Lets run…!!!!!!
Us: No…Yes…Maybe…What if somebody sees us..? What if he sees us?..yada yada…Pay and run…yada yada..

(Actually we decided to stay so that we can thoroughly study this freaky specimen of the male species)

Him: (comes back).. Hinga dho dhama..

..he enters the car...and...HE SMELLED..OF ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!!! HONEST!!!!!!!!...(the things that happen to us…*shakes head and looks up at the sky*…*shakes head again*

Us: (whispering)..what are we to do…?
Us: (pretends to call mums and dads so that he will overhear and realize that we do have family who will miss us after he rapes us + kills us +buries our bodies in Sultan Park…
Him: *evil maniac laugh*
Him: yada yada yada…3 dhooni…yada yada 3 boh…3 boh..yada yada yada

finally reached near home…we took a pic inside the car…and the car number is _5_7 (the dashes are there to protect the identity of the individual)

Chapter 2: Prom Night 08’

I wasn’t really expecting myself to end up in a prom on the night of my birthday, but a friend of mine kinda asked me very nicely n loabilly…so I couldn’t say no…Thus, I had a date for the prom..(well, actually A prom cuz I had no idea what was goin on..)

And I wasn’t actually going to go all pretty or anything..but I ‘had a load of pressure on me to be the prettiest girl in there'..and so this is just a lil thank you to my disaster crew who helped me get all pretty… THANKS YOU GUYS… and also to Homo…it was fun and I did enjoy it… :)

Chapter 3: The sleepover/ 00:00 – 12:00 of my b’day

Me, sponge and the nut were sleeping over at my place so pretty much every one was in da house AT THE HOUR…I got 17 pretty presents from my mummy…all of them amazingly aryjish..we went to thai wok for a family dinner..just the four of us..*sigh* i even got a cake that said “you’r 17”…like I needed to be reminded that I was getting old and wrinkled… *sniff* :P

All in all, it was a totally ogalicious b’day/day before b’day!...thanks to everybody who wished me and for all the prezzies that I got…*happy tears*… especially to my 2 oggies; sponge and nut…and my thweeth fai ‘dhatha’ :P.. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!....honestly…and thanks again…until next year…’birthday girl arykko’ has left the building…*drum roll*…

Umm…those of you who wish not to see the inauspicious side of me should refrain from reading the rest of this post..

Seriously…

Ok, here goes nothing..

I admit it..i am a fully transformed wreck. I am physically, psychologically and every-logically confused and I have no idea where my life is heading…or even where I am right now. The confusion has spread through me completely and I don’t even know what my life means anymore. The definitions they provide are so meaningless and vulgar.. things I just cant find a grasp of… the attitude, the culture. the life I am being bent down to live is nothing but pointless materialism..

Losing faith so easily..i have so many questions.. but asking them isn’t possible either.. so I lay here.. dwelling in my thoughts…until I reach a stage where I no longer understand what I need, what I want or what I posess.. and all that remains is a hurtful emptiness…

Everyday…I see them from the distance…I try to understand… don’t they question? Don’t they feel the confusion that we are heading towards?... I see religious fanatics and atheists…Goths and hippies… Kings and peasants… I wonder what drives them to the edges of the chain… and I ponder on how they manage to look at the world in such a single point of view…

Everlasting uncertainty… perhaps my questions should not be thought of..maybe my realm of wisdom is just in my own mind's eye.. but even then..what is reality?.. :S

My tummy huuuuuuuuurts...!!!
asluves eyy...
its like having tiny little knots in the ileum...
and i even made a song for it..so that you all will take it seriously...
here it goes...

pretty lil tummy..
(raagu: jimmy please..)

pretty lil tummy
please don't hurt
i'll go eat panadol
you'll see
hand in hand
we ll go to the doc
signed with care
forever linked....

...now will you stop???..*sniff*

for all you clueless people out there...!! well, not really..

• me like dragonflies..me obsessed about dragonflies...anything with dragonflies.. :D
• me LOOOOOOVE cars!!!!...thats my next obsession..n handhaan vaa gothun somebody did promise me a Porsche Cerrera GT for my b'day...hmmm...n i wudnt mind a Bugatti Veyron with that :)
• and shoes shoes shoes shoes shoes......and clothes
  
• me don't have much of an interest in roses...except those molhethi kula kulaige ones like blue and purple..though i do like white roses (they mean innocent and pure love...)
• i do like exotic (defined as weird by some ppl) flowers like bird of paradise and cella lilies...*sigh*
• me also like loabi pendants..nice pwetty ones :)
• and, athuga alha thingies :P
• and pwetty toe rings...
• yesh, me also have a thing for candles...scented ones..*double sigh*
• and chocolates...loads and loads of chocolates..especially lindt..and chocolate anything...ice cream..puddings..u name it, ill eat it...*mouth watering*
• teddy bears??...mmm...not much of a fan..except for one teddy given by my thweeet bro :P but me like pillows wayyy better and those ones with those kudhi kudhi beads in it which makes it very squuuuuuueezable
  
• guitars....ofcuz!!!who doesn't have a thing for guitars??
• frames n bahata maa tukuri(i learned new dhivehi word!!! molhu dho?)..i can definitely live without...except if it is homemade..n varah loabin aryj ah takaa hadhaa dheefa in echeh vejjeya.. ^.^
• anything that is small and cute...*wink*

all in all, anything wierd..cute..stupid...pretty...sweet and small... see??? is it that hard???

...and my b'day just happens to be on 16th of February..dats da next saturday...(just in case u dint get vanings the above hints :P)

stupid stupid girl in pink
prancing around with that stupid grin
u ain't fooling me
the comical smile
and that "zazz" of yours..
it ain't coming from within

the plaster on your scarred face
i ain't duped
its just a mask for the unknowing
the ignorant and nescient
but who are you to point them out?
you don't even know what you want..
your pretty little features
so tarnished in the crusade
'didn't you start living just a while ago..?'
they ask,
'so why do you wish to get so burnt?'

To a certain extent, I guess gossiping is fine. It even allows a smooth trail of information flow in the community. Ekamu konme kamehga ves hahdheh onan vaane dho?... I honestly don't give much of a fudge about people who talk about me behind my back..AS LONG AS IT'S TRUE...! But when it starts snowballing into something way bigger than what it started from...thats when I officially get fudged (for an hour or two....or half an hour... :P)

But seriously...I am sick of people gossiping around behind people's backs...aaaaargh!!! I wonder if they really don't have anything better to do than talk about the lives of others..especially people whom they don't even know!!!! Makes me feel like strangling anybody who starts a sentence with, "ingeytha kurin dhuhu {insert name here} kuri kameh??"....I mean it! Don't they have their own lives to live...own problems to talk about??..Why bother hide behind somebody else's problems, just so that everybody else would think your life is a bed of roses??...And even if you don't want to talk about your problems...WHY THE HECK DO YOU BOTHER WITH OTHERS???...It doesn't really help us even if you gossip about our lives, u know...just in case you thought you were doing us a favor...

And that's not even the worst part, its even worse when people who you have never met, never wronged starts spreading rumors about you that are blasphemous to your character...COMPLETELY and UTTERLY disgusting rumors...

I ask again...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???

I know that people who matter won't believe them and all, but it doesn't help much...You wouldn't want to be called something you are not..even from a stranger...kannuve nan vaakah beynumh nuvaanu??

So to all you people out there, who think gossiping is fun, just think of us poor people who get scratched from your claws...*sniff*

P.s- i know that the pic here looks very wierd and kinda creepy...but i just felt like using it anyways...

Staring into the sky and pondering about the insane idea of infinity, I was forced back into the realm of insignificance and boredom by the ‘dazzling’ ramblings of our all-knowing (all hail thy mathematic-ness) teacher..Yet, I did not surrender myself…or more like I couldn’t…My eyes found themselves a much more intresting subject than the value of x when sin x = cos x…a beautiful structure on if not completely normal base…so smooth…so edged to perfection…yes, I’m in love (:P) but not with one..it’s in many..the gleam of the edges on the surface so pure..so naked…so open to all to see, yet, I feel like covering it up…looks so sacred..*sigh*

The words she wants to say remain unheard. And she continues, keeping her emotions at bay...Fearing a storm that might come…fearing the sea in which she might drown in...Fleeting with possibilities of a new era…a new dimension…a completely new point of view. Standing at the edge of this non-existence she feared for the choices that she had…one made her vulnerable and completely disarmed in front of a man that shades in colors that she had not seen in her life...a man completely oblivious to the fact that the woman before him is just another miserable soul, merely existing for the sake of existence…a woman of no pride, no future and no hope. A woman who had given up on life and had dealt with the cruelty of life years ago...her face says it all. Yet, the man stares at her face to see a flawless beauty...Filled with vivacity...an aura of purity…his queen of perfection kept high above on a pedestal so that no other can come close to her..

My lips may be curved into a smile

My heart pounding so hard that i tremble

The love so innocent and naive

So pure in intent
But deep down in the dark corner
of my brittle heart
I know that it's unreal
like a myth told by the generations...
like an old wife's tale passed down...
like a fairy tale soothing the child to sleep

until she wakes tomorrow to face the cruel world..

...but until then

Just let my smile put a glow in my face

and let my heart pound as hard as it can...

...my first try at poetry (if u could call it that) ..couldn't really help myself...
hope you like it :) ...