Prologue...

She tilted her head up in obedience. Outside the small hut in the boat, she could here the many voices. Strong voices bellowing her name; yet, she set in the back, staring at the opening of the hut with her huge brown eyes, unable to grasp what was happening. The light streaming in through the opening stung her eyes, but she was incapable of looking away. She stared in dread as two men marched into the hut. The time had come. They knelt besides her and shouted out something in Spanish. One of them quickly shot out of the hut.

“Are you alright?” The man asked with extreme caution.

She did not reply. Instead, she stood up, dusted off her Mantua and shot a look of disgust at the man.

“You are late.” She spoke in a harsh voice entirely in contrast with the callow and innocent face.

“I know, ma’am. But the sailors…” His voice trailed off with hints of uncertainty.

She did not bother to respond. Swiftly, she walked towards the opening, and looked outside. Her face showed no hints of the fear she had inside. Nor did it have any traces of the shock she had withstood. In fact, her face was…almost blank…purely emotionless.

“Ma’am, there’s still danger…” The man hastily walked up to her.

“I am leaving.” It was as though she had not heard the man. Or at least chose to ignore it. Her first step outwards startled her. The incredible heat of the aluminum floorboard was agonizing on her bare feet. She had been away from the sun so long that the unbearable heat of the afternoon heat stung her skin like pins and needles. But she had suffered worse. Without so much as a flinch, she moved outside. The gentle rocking of the boat didn’t seem to affect her. He walk was as graceful and steady as it had always been.

That’s when the guns started firing.

She dropped. From a few feet she could hear the man moaning. Perhaps he thought she was dead? She waved her hand slightly up in the air for the man to see, the least she could do.

“aargh, my pretty dress!”Wrinkling her nose with disgust, she quickly crawled towards the edge of the boat. She squinted her eyes to see across the deep blue sea. Much to her surprise, she could only make out one ship at a far distance. “Where the heck are those bullets showering out from?” Her sleek confident look was replaced with dumbfounded confusion.

“My...My…isn’t this a wonderful surprise? The lost royal ship and along with it…the beautiful dame of the country herself!” snickers were followed by the anonymous comment.

She darted her head towards the edge of the ship. Dressed in the usual shipmen clothing, Sir Clagdon looked like any old sailor. No wonder he didn’t catch her eye before. She rolled her eyes as she straightened up and curtseyed towards the baron. “I had no idea you were into the sea-nic route, sir” she replied gritting her teeth.

Oh, of course you wouldn’t know! How long has it been? 2? 3 years? My dear, I have been trying to bump into you since you disappeared…where have you been?”The baron still had the cheesy smile plastered across his face.

“oh..here and there…though I am quite startled to hear that the baron himself has had such an interest on me to actually come out into these dreadful seas to search for me personally” The amused tone in her voice was as blunt as it could be.

“Ain’t you a sharp tongue? Now, lets get you comfortable in this ropes so that we could have a much more comfortable talk? He indicated towards a man to his side, “would you like to do the honors?”

“Now, that’s where everyone of them goes wrong.”She grinned at the baron, “if you think you are the first person who have tried to pursue me since I disappeared you are definitely more stupid than you look and that s saying a lot compared to what you look like at the moment. Honestly, have you heard of a thing called detergent?”

“I havn’t come to pursue you, ma’am. Infact, I have much to do and say…”The barons voice faded into a shivery silence as she realized what was happening.



pic by me :)


please feel very free to comment on this. it's my first time writing fiction and this was just a mixture of a little bit of cynicism and imagination...

33 comments:

  • baadee | April 8, 2008 at 12:08 PM

    i am clueless on wat happend in it...

  • arikko | April 8, 2008 at 12:11 PM

    ur always clueless my friend :P

  • Aishath | April 8, 2008 at 8:45 PM

    Started out in a very dramatic and interesting fashion but by the time she was out of the hut things got a little confusing. I think everything was left a bit too vague for readers to really grasp what was going on. Some grammar mistakes added to the confusion, but those could have been corrected on a second read-through.

    It managed to keep my interest though, at least just to see what was going on. The little vague hints dropped here and there didn't really help me get a grasp on what the story was about but other readers might think different.

  • Lil Devil | April 10, 2008 at 11:57 AM

    hehee...i think i've met ur 'fictional' protagonist... unbelievably nice for a prologue...i'd say u'd make a fine writer if u'd give sum attention in correcting a few errors such as referring to the main protagonist as a she in the first place and then making the mistake of calling her a 'he'...it's quite hard for the reader to follow ur story but thats maybe coz we aint familiar to such a situation...and nice description of the protagonist...the use of first person narration in presenting the story helps to give a clear grip for the story and to set up a character for the protagonist. the prologue foreshadows the inescapable obstacles and action to follow in the story...keep on writing...wanna find out more about the cute brown eyed damsel...

  • balhikko | April 13, 2008 at 1:14 AM

    eyy nagoobalhu balhu arikko kaley nahulaa ah vaan ulheyne kameh neiy. amaa kaari ah dheybala vaahaka kiyaa dheyn. nahalaalu suvaraa...ahrun noolhen thi kiyaa hithakun...balhu vaanuvaaves neygey....ma ekani bunaa eche tho balaabala hiyalhu...
    ingey thilhaa ah keiy nuvaanekan mihenbuneema.ekamakuves thilhaa amaafui.

    thilhaa meege fahun mikahala fuck echis nuliyaathi. miyahvuren thilhaage kuni findhah ingili gelhiyas ok vaane..
    then boe.

  • aimy | April 14, 2008 at 11:10 PM

    i guess i know what happend .. n what will .. etc etc ... eff!!

  • Salar | April 16, 2008 at 9:46 PM

    Attention! See Please Here

  • Xeeko | April 17, 2008 at 10:23 PM

    i guess you like writing such stories! before also you wrote some story! lol!

    p.s. please check out my new post

  • de Irresistible | April 20, 2008 at 12:40 PM

    your good but a little draggy! better put some twists! halfway i was able to predict the finishing line, thats not fun! anyways, i have faith in your writing... you got potential! and i will not comment on the grammar and spellings much, specially 'here' instead of 'hear'!

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:24 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:24 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:24 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:24 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:24 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:24 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:25 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:25 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:25 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:25 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:25 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:25 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:25 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • Anonymous | May 24, 2008 at 8:25 AM

    kaley goru hendigen tha update nukurany.aharumen mithibee kolhukohgen theyolaagen update kuraatho nagoobalhu. kaley amaa fui. dhey bafaa thalhan

  • SoE | June 30, 2008 at 4:30 AM

    what's err happening up there Mr.Anonymous? Seriously though, where's the rest of it?

  • Uzain | July 31, 2008 at 11:50 PM

    Reall cool!

    I would definitely but it, if it were a novel for sale!

  • Anonymous | August 20, 2008 at 9:07 AM

    im still waiting for the next part.......

  • Inxive Neoy | September 7, 2008 at 2:22 AM

    What was happening when she realised it???
    Nice ingey. Heevany nyneave hen character.