• An instant attraction to romantic interest, usually occurring within the first few minutes of meeting.

• An immediate urge to rush into a relationship regardless of compatibility.

• Becoming "hooked on the look" of another, focusing on the person's physical characteristics while ignoring personality differences.

• Unrealistic fantasies about a relationship with a love interest, assigning "magical" qualities to an object of affection.

• The beginnings of obsessive, controlling behaviors begin to manifest.

• Unfounded thoughts of infidelity on the part of a partner and demanding accountability for normal daily activities.

• An overwhelming fear of abandonment, including baseless thoughts of a partner walking out on the relationship in favor of another person.

• The need to constantly be in contact with a love interest via phone, email or in person.

• Strong feelings of mistrust begin to emerge, causing depression, resentment and relational tension.

• The continuation and escalation of obsessive, controlling behaviors.

• The onset of "tunnel vision," meaning that the relationally dependent person cannot stop thinking about a love interest and required his or her constant attention.

• Neurotic, compulsive behaviors, including rapid telephone calls to love interest's place of residence or workplace.

• Unfounded accusations of "cheating" due to extreme anxiety.

• "Drive-bys" around a love interest's home or place of employment, with the goal of assuring that the person is at where "he or she is supposed to be."

• Physical or electronic monitoring activities, following a love interest's whereabouts throughout the course of a day to discover daily activities.

• Extreme control tactics, including questioning a love interest's commitment to the relationship (guilt trips) with the goal of manipulating a love interest into providing more attention.

• Overwhelming feelings of depression (feeling "empty" inside).

• A sudden loss of self-esteem, due to the collapse of the relationship.

• Extreme feelings of self-blame and at times, self-hatred.

• Anger, rage and a desire to seek revenge against a love interest for breaking off the relationship.

• Denial that the relationship has ended and attempting to "win a loved one back" by making promises to "change".

• The use of drugs, alcohol, food or sex to "medicate" the emotional pain.


let it go-the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise-let it go it
was sworn to

let them go-the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and the neithers-you must let them go they
were born
to go

let all go-the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things-let all go
so comes love

= E. E. Cummings=

this poem kinda spoke to me...i havnt been able to write anything like this...and it had the exact things i wanted to get out...what i have been meaning to say..but just couldnt...

wow....i can actually see the dust settling in the corners...

sorry bloggy....just wasn't in the mood to write anything....

OK …it’s been a flow of emo poems and psycho-babble for the last few months and i’d been wanting to write about something really constructive in here for a long time…its just that I don’t get much time to put in the thoughts into words (I know, I know…age old excuse..but its still true!) and actually post a sane post…:S

So here goes…

I realized something eerily disturbing about human beings (in general, not pointing fingers!) the past few days...

Humans, like many animals, stick to herds. And they prefer to be at conformity and the same level as everybody else. It makes them feel normal; like they belong. The many of you who are shaking there head, as you read this are probably in denial...so ask yourself, do you doubt yourself, and your ideas when everybody else doesn't agree with them? do you laugh at jokes that you don't get? i'm guessing your answer is yes...anyways, all i'm saying is even with the lectures you get as you grow up about 'expressing your individuality' and 'being yourself', many of us would rather have the comfort of being what people would refer to as 'normal'. and the rest who don't are normally deprived of attention and thus try to attain it by defying comformity.. by being a rebel...an exhibitionist...

we study, becuase it's what we are supposed to do...what normal people do...and those who don't are just trying to seek the attention of the conformists...trying to make them notice the poor soul...the attention-whore....

we pray, because everybody obeys God...and are scared of Him...and you think its the right thing to do because everybody agrees on that...and the few that don't are trying to get noticed...trying to break out from the abnormal 'normail routine' that the human race follows, without a question...and thus, without an answer...

in a lil room
there'a a chair
and a cupboard
full of clothes, books and god knows what
there's a desk
and two beds
one filled with teddy bears, and fluffy pillows
one pretty much blank and unseen
there's a lil window...but it doesnt open
it doesnt show the outside world
it shows the curvature of the wooden wall next to it
there's a rack, clothes all over it
on the top there's another shelf filled with books
the extension board is right below the desk...and the cables run all around the lil room
some towards the bed...up the bed...
there's a printer under the rack...and another table right next to the cuoboard
there's a chair in the middle of the rooom
and the a/c is on...

it's friggin cold...