Showing posts with label psycho-babble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psycho-babble. Show all posts
 The beauty of Spring so luscious
The waters that run through so clear
The vines that twine in through us
Oh Dear God, don’t you fear?
Where has the world gone…?

Cold and awake I dream of you
Of moments of joy invincible by truth
Seethed in my heart, stored in my head
I never envisioned a better regret
Oh Dear Love, don’t you know?
Where had it gone wrong…?

Through tangles of webs and ashes with dust…
We rose together in one final thrust
Do you realize that what was, is gone?
Do you know it was never born?
Oh Dear Child, don’t you know?
Where has the innocence gone…?

Creep through the shadows
Lie alone in the shades
I fear nothing but what fear allows
For everything changes and the day fades
Oh Dear Sun, don’t you know?
Where in the world have the nights gone?



Was procrastinating, playing around in Picnik...and realized I havn't really stayed true to my promise to blog more often...so I made this! its a collaboration of a photo I took a month ago and a really amusing quote i found in a book a couple of days back :)

I know I'm cheating...but with assignments, tutorials and real life drama...i really have my hands full..

So this is me...fulfilling my promise by jumping through a loophole in hope of writing something constructive after my Autumn term ends.. :)

Any views or comments on the subject at hand (refer to blog title) are welcome. :P

The shivers down my spine

The tremble in my hands

I can’t lie and say they ain’t real

But this mind of mine

And this coal-drenched heart

Won’t accept this to be real

The touch, the feel

The sounds that appease

It won’t understand that this is real

The words you utter,

The butterflies in my stomach that flutter

It just ignores and pretend they aren’t real

The feeling that grows

From the nose to my toes

It just won’t allow for it to be real

The depth in your eyes and what lies inside

Yes, my heart is too scared to ask what is real


I know it's crappy...I know I am supposed to have blogged about moving to Malay and all about changes and everything...but my mind is kinda blank these days...so, here it is...yours truly, confused as ever... :)

The silver lining along the cloud
The drops of sunshine through the haze
A humble ounce of beauty
...visible in this atrocious place


im not a mind reader
i can't tell whether you are happy or not

when you smile and say fine

i cant tell whether its okay for me
to do what i do and to say what i say

i need more than a smile
i need more than a nod
i need more than just some emoticon
to really understand what you feel
what you need


im not a mind reader
so just tell me out loud
let me have it harsh and cold
cause i deserve to know
cause i'd do the same for you

cause you know its true...
that i wouldn't do anything
if it were to hurt you...
as long as you tell me

and you let me know..


cause...
im not a mind reader...
and i can't feel the psychic vibes from so far...

photo cred : Innocence by RedSigns


The feeling of want..of need...that you cannot be satisfied...that you cannot walk this earth again the same way if not given the scent of what your heart aches for...it desires for....

This feeling grows...it consumes...and there is no end to it...for a desire can never be satisfied...you can never have enough of it..call it an addiction if you may, but to those who has ever gotten a taste of it...an addiction is like having a sweet tooth compared...


Desires rage fire...and throws itself into the iciest of cold...and there it rages fire again...the mixture of hot and cold...eventually eats one another...and leave the dead marks of satisfaction...and the desire fulfilled...yet longing for another battle to be fought...


And then there is the desire most want...the desire to be desired...to have a man tremble in front of your eyes...to see the rage of fire in his eyes..which looks like it would consume him, lest he was unable to touch you...we have heard the fables...read the stories...where the mere revealing of a hand of a geisha or the caressing of the neck of some woman in the medieval times would ignite a man's passion beyond what words he could say...and his hands tremble to touch her...as though she was sacred...as though touching her was a pleasure he could not have...

What i hold between my thighs...and within my bosoms..is sacred..it is sacred because i believe it to be..and i desire to be desired for what i have...for being a woman..and i desire to be looked at with lust even with my body hidden and hands crossed upon my lap...for i am a woman...and my body...my mind...my soul is mine to hold..and mine to give..


i do understand, that some of you may think that what i have written is too mature or pornographic for me to write..so to all of them, im just gonna act real immature, and tell them to fuck off... :)

photo credits : Desire by xequemate
The worst of the worst is here... *sigh*

So, just pray for me alright?...so that i do well in my exams..and i am soo happy that i treat everybody to pizza... :P sweet deal eh?

*gulp*

*back in panic mode*


oh so thats why..... -_-
  • you are going to be branded 'pathetic' if you got dumped...a 'bitch' if you dumped him/her..
  • you will be constantly finding reasons NOT to go out
  • when you do go out...its likely that you will feel like you have 'I'M SINGLE' branded on you forehead
  • you will start a weird obsession of staring at your phone...a lot
  • the messages in your phone are going to be read...over..and over...and over..(including the call me backs)
  • you will cry while watching every single episode of One Tree Hill...and all those lovey-dovey movies
  • everybody around you will suddenly start having stable/perfect relationships
  • your newest hobby would become staring at the ceiling
  • you are likely to become a studyaholic/workaholic
  • sleepless nights (duh!!)
  • its like getting pregnant...you might get this craving...any time..and you have to (i repeat, HAVE TO) have it..whatever it is...whatever the time is...
  • you start pondering about the big questions in life..like the meaning of life and death..and why we are here..(you know, ..deep shit)
  • you end up talking to strangers...a lot..and saying stuff...a lot
  • your personal msgs on msn and facebook statuses become extremely emo..
  • you feel guilty everytime you laugh
  • you get flashbacks out of the blue
  • and you end up staring at the mirror a lot
  • basically, i guess you do a lot of staring..
  • oh, and you might try to change your appearence in some way..(haircuts..werido hairdos..extreme piercings)
  • (if the break up was because of sumthin stupid he/she did) you will feel an extreme need to rebel against his/her comments/compliments...(eg: if he compliments your hair..you WILL feel an urge to cut it...like CUT it..!)
  • you will start checking his/her blog on a daily basis
  • you will starr checking his/her fb status every hour or so
  • your room will slowly deteriorate into a state of unfixableness
  • sudden urges to go out and party will come...and go...in a matter of minutes..
  • craving for ice cream (duh!)
  • craving for chocolate (double duh!)
  • lowered self esteem
  • you will start taking little things very personally and very (very!) emotionally
  • you will go into mourning (ie, wear black a lot)
  • you will wear loads of eye liner and andhun to prevent people from noticing your puffy eyes
  • short term memory loss
  • attention deficiency
  • talking in shakespearen lingo..wayy too much
  • your attire doesnt change for days..mostly huge tshirts with shorts..
  • signing up for thing you don't have time for (like yoga, martial arts, cake decorationg (we all know why) maa jehun, ) <- yoga does sound appealing ^^
  • get extremely jealous of hiro nakamura
  • get back on track with your reading
  • drawing (even if you dont know how to ) broken hearts...everywhere..(EVERYWHERE!)
  • updating your blog in a daily/weekly basis...mostly with love-sick posts and depressing poetry
  • reminicing about the 'good times'
  • 'accidental' calls to the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend
  • burning/throwing/melting/any sort of destructive method being used to destroy any gifts/flowers/cards recieved during the course of the relationship (if it was an ugly break up)
  • sleeping with gifts/flowers/cards recieved
  • staring at gifts/flowers/cards recieved
  • rings...oh dont even get me started on rings..!
  • if you have a camera..your photography will become extremely depressing
  • your lips become cracked
  • change in weight (may increase or decrease depending on individual)
  • having to get back in the 'game' buut, you are too tired for the game..
  • changing your whole perspective of life...
  • no more horny dreams of just one girl
  • no more nightmares/dreams of married life
  • extreme horni-ness
  • cats will suddenly become very friendly with you..and you will feel the need to adopt one..(DONT!)
  • shopping! shopping! and more shopping!
  • being broke...
  • no more eating out because you are broke
  • reminicing of the days you were broke...and you could still eat out..*sigh*
  • doing freaky daredevil stunts which end up really wrong (either in the hospital or the police office)
  • celebrating freedom!...and craving for unfreedom (i know thats not a word!..but do u want me to say slavery?)
  • you become rather fond of animals..(no! thats not what i meant! perv! -_-)
  • you start singing 'sexy back' in the shower
  • you start blaming everything on the breakup
oh, this is probably going to be a continuing list...and includes opinions that are common and unique to many others out there...so feel free to add in anything more..

oh oh, and this work is purely fiction :P so don't start lecturing me about being obsessive/unhappy/depression...blah blah...i just needed to write this...just for the heck of writing it...aiite?
two 'partey' at a street corner staring at a pretty girl walking by

partey 1: *whistles* hey sexy lady... *wink*

(pretty girl stops dead on her feet)

pretty girl: what do you think you are doing? eh? you really think that by hooting and calling me 'sexy' with that suggextive tone in your voice is really going to get me interested in you? or that pathetic winking is going to make me think of you as something more than a disgusting pervert whose life serves no purpose other than to aimlessly pace around the corners of streets trying to find girls to hoot at, which i would like to add is a pretty damn stupid method to use if you actually want to get a woman for you...which leads me to think that maybe, just maybe you are not interested in getting the girl...maybe you are just hoping that by doing so, you would be seen as somebody with hetreosexuality and maybe convince your miserable heart who is aching for that piece of meat right next to you, otherwise.... *winks back, turns around and leaves*

(silence)

partey 2: hey man...err...i gotta go home..my mum called me a coupla hours ago..err..see ya man...*dashes off*

(this work is purely fictional...)
how sweet life would be,
if you would just be
my little figure on strings
and i could dance your feet away
tap on it till the end of day
nod your head to all my requests
leap up and take conquest
protect my honor and fear no wrath
i could make you
my one and only strength
sleep for me
eat for me
cry and just weep for me
fight for me
and strive for me
life has no meaning but what is said by me..

*slight maniac laughter....*

photo by Lady-Dementia (a deviant artist)
location: (maaveyo magu)

guy
: usha!


girl: (turns around) don't try to make a scene...please!

guy: you know how much i love you? do you even have the slightest idea? (puffy eyes swelling up with tears..again)

girl: yes i do..but this in not...

guy: no you don't! (voice rising) you have no idea..if you did...you wouldn't do this to me..not in a million years!!

girl: i havn't done anything to you!..and therefore, i have nothing to say to you!..goodbye arshadh...

guy: (voice softens) love..don't..im begging you..(takes the girl's hand)..this is not what we wanted..give me one good reason why we should not be together...?

girl: (sounding stone hard and icy cold) simple. because i don't love you. and because you don't deserve my love.

(by this point a smal crowd of people pretending not to look at the scene have gathered..)

guy: (startled and anger rising) what the f**k do you mean by i dont deserve your love? eh? you think you are something special don't you? (girl says nothing) fine. we are over. we'll see how long you can stay away from me. (slight maniacal laugh....leaves)

girl: (stares at the pavement...tears start rolling down her eyes...and she slowly breaks down in front of a dozen of people)

(this work is purely fictional...)
this was just a random converstaion i had with a friend of mine... and i managed to utter the words.. "im totally bloggin about this afterwards" so here goes :P

Birdeee : Why the hell are lovebirds called LOVEbirds???

Me : Err....i dunno...cux they are in love with each other.. *goes dreamy eyed*...

Birdee : You know what i think?

Me : Mmmm...? *still dreamy eyed*

Birdee : I think they are just forced to be together!!...cux they are trapped in a cage...TOGETHER!! all the TIME!!....and this lil kid comes around all the time and pokes them....!

Me : *all lovey dovey dreams shattered*....*sigh*...i'm so bloggin about this....

Creating a world must have been tough...just imagine..creating the seeds, from which the plants would grow...making blue-prints of what trees must look like...creating systems through which it could survive (ie; respire, make food, reproduce...)...and the varieties...so many species...so much creation... and then creating the tiny lil insects which would live amongst these plants...with their unique appearences...and amazing abilities... the animals, made to be majestic and ruling of the kingdoms...each with its distinctive appearence and role in life... the birds, that fill the sky...with beautiful patterns of flocks..or just a single bold one...on the look out for prey... what about the deep oceans?..with their own flora and fauna, creating a mass ecosystem..almost oblivious to the land creatures... and of course the amphibians, who choose neither land nor sea...and live their lives in mystery... and what of the skies, mountains and the seas of water themselves? and volcanoes filled with lava....rivers streaming through to oceans....forestlands...coral reefs...and so many of the many ecosystems which create the earth's biosphere... each having a purpose..each giving a little..to create a lot...

finally the man...humans..homo sapiens..with their rules and order of anarchy...their ways of peace through war...their path of enlightment with no light...their livesof purpose through entertainment...their wisdom which even for them is just riddles....

how we managed to gain control of the world is nothing short of a miracle...how narcisstic we are...to believe we are the ones who deserve this beautiful planet...how ignorant we are...to think that we could do whatever we want in here and not pay a price...how stubborn we are...to say its upto us to change this world..that its upto us to decide the future...

oh, how little we know...

photo: in bio lab...doing some weird experiment :)
in a lil room
there'a a chair
and a cupboard
full of clothes, books and god knows what
there's a desk
and two beds
one filled with teddy bears, and fluffy pillows
one pretty much blank and unseen
there's a lil window...but it doesnt open
it doesnt show the outside world
it shows the curvature of the wooden wall next to it
there's a rack, clothes all over it
on the top there's another shelf filled with books
the extension board is right below the desk...and the cables run all around the lil room
some towards the bed...up the bed...
there's a printer under the rack...and another table right next to the cuoboard
there's a chair in the middle of the rooom
and the a/c is on...


it's friggin cold...
my dates are undefined...but i love this theme soooooo much O_O

and i cant figure out how to change this date ah araa ethi...*sigh*


I may not be perfect…but I am all I can be….

She tilted her head up in obedience. Outside the small hut in the boat, she could here the many voices. Strong voices bellowing her name; yet, she set in the back, staring at the opening of the hut with her huge brown eyes, unable to grasp what was happening. The light streaming in through the opening stung her eyes, but she was incapable of looking away. She stared in dread as two men marched into the hut. The time had come. They knelt besides her and shouted out something in Spanish. One of them quickly shot out of the hut.

“Are you alright?” The man asked with extreme caution.

She did not reply. Instead, she stood up, dusted off her Mantua and shot a look of disgust at the man.

“You are late.” She spoke in a harsh voice entirely in contrast with the callow and innocent face.

“I know, ma’am. But the sailors…” His voice trailed off with hints of uncertainty.

She did not bother to respond. Swiftly, she walked towards the opening, and looked outside. Her face showed no hints of the fear she had inside. Nor did it have any traces of the shock she had withstood. In fact, her face was…almost blank…purely emotionless.

“Ma’am, there’s still danger…” The man hastily walked up to her.

“I am leaving.” It was as though she had not heard the man. Or at least chose to ignore it. Her first step outwards startled her. The incredible heat of the aluminum floorboard was agonizing on her bare feet. She had been away from the sun so long that the unbearable heat of the afternoon heat stung her skin like pins and needles. But she had suffered worse. Without so much as a flinch, she moved outside. The gentle rocking of the boat didn’t seem to affect her. He walk was as graceful and steady as it had always been.

That’s when the guns started firing.

She dropped. From a few feet she could hear the man moaning. Perhaps he thought she was dead? She waved her hand slightly up in the air for the man to see, the least she could do.

“aargh, my pretty dress!”Wrinkling her nose with disgust, she quickly crawled towards the edge of the boat. She squinted her eyes to see across the deep blue sea. Much to her surprise, she could only make out one ship at a far distance. “Where the heck are those bullets showering out from?” Her sleek confident look was replaced with dumbfounded confusion.

“My...My…isn’t this a wonderful surprise? The lost royal ship and along with it…the beautiful dame of the country herself!” snickers were followed by the anonymous comment.

She darted her head towards the edge of the ship. Dressed in the usual shipmen clothing, Sir Clagdon looked like any old sailor. No wonder he didn’t catch her eye before. She rolled her eyes as she straightened up and curtseyed towards the baron. “I had no idea you were into the sea-nic route, sir” she replied gritting her teeth.

Oh, of course you wouldn’t know! How long has it been? 2? 3 years? My dear, I have been trying to bump into you since you disappeared…where have you been?”The baron still had the cheesy smile plastered across his face.

“oh..here and there…though I am quite startled to hear that the baron himself has had such an interest on me to actually come out into these dreadful seas to search for me personally” The amused tone in her voice was as blunt as it could be.

“Ain’t you a sharp tongue? Now, lets get you comfortable in this ropes so that we could have a much more comfortable talk? He indicated towards a man to his side, “would you like to do the honors?”

“Now, that’s where everyone of them goes wrong.”She grinned at the baron, “if you think you are the first person who have tried to pursue me since I disappeared you are definitely more stupid than you look and that s saying a lot compared to what you look like at the moment. Honestly, have you heard of a thing called detergent?”

“I havn’t come to pursue you, ma’am. Infact, I have much to do and say…”The barons voice faded into a shivery silence as she realized what was happening.



pic by me :)


please feel very free to comment on this. it's my first time writing fiction and this was just a mixture of a little bit of cynicism and imagination...
I'm a barbie girl
In a barbie world...
Life in plastic..
*snigger*
It's fantastic
*wide grin*
im baack...
if you are wondering about the weird baribie girl song...
its varah loabi and freaky and weird...all rolled and chaskohlaafa into one.. :P
it also kinda made me realize something the other day...
i realised that...
tan tanaaaa!!!
*drum roll*
...
we are all very plastic...
:(
and also the song made me realize how materialistic we actually are...
and somehow I don't really mind being a bit materialistic
because
when I come to think of it...
i can imagine my future without a partner (as lonely as it would be...i could still imagine it)
but i can't imagine myself without a good job (with a huge salary ofcux :P)
and a nice place of my own...
i just can't..
and i like it :D
so there...
im materialistic..and i love myself for it...!

:P
pic from deviantart

bored...bored...bored...BORED!!
:(
...ok, here's the deal...
it's been approx. 15 hrs since the start of mid term break...and i am officially nidhi buraanthi!!! completely vai vefa... who knew you could miss school so much?...damn...
SO....

since i have absolutely nothing to do (i could study but...you know :P) im planning a 11 day thingy for myself...
the object is to force myself out of the bed and do something fun...every day :D
aaargh...hope this works..
wish me luck you guys..