When I die...



When I die, I don’t want to look like a tribute to Lakme’ or Botox. I don’t want my body to rot against some silicone implants. I don’t want a fake complexion with my face completely covered under layers of foundation and makeup. I want people to look at me and see the life I have lived. The scars that show the pain that I have endured. The wrinkles that creases in between them, witness to the years that I have lived. 

Oh yes, and I want big visible laugh wrinkles…I absolutely love seeing old people who have laugh wrinkles…It feels like it’s a tribute to all those happy years that they had enjoyed. Maybe, I won’t eat olives and rub milk and egg yolk all over my face. Maybe, I’ll even have dark circles from all those all-nighters I pulled in college. Maybe, those childhood bruises on my knees will never go away. Maybe, those scars from the horrifying acne-filled adolescent years are going to show on my face forever. And maybe my age will in the end, get the best of me….but I don’t mind. I love the fact that I still have a bruise on the sole of my feet from when I was 12. And I love the way I can look at my body and not just see Ponds on my face, Maybelline on my eyes and Lakme’ on my fingernails. Maybe I’m not going to be on the next Top Model show...but I love the way I look…and I love the way I keep changing with age and with life. I may not turn a lot of heads, but I am happy with their heads turned away. 

I am what I am. I am healthy. I eat well. And I live my life well. And for me, that’s good enough. And that is what I want to take to my grave, not a man-made sculpture filled with chemicals, all for the satisfaction of onlookers. 

5 comments:

  • deadmauNaape | October 17, 2011 at 1:18 AM

    hei areej, i love ur blog :D <3

  • hucein | October 17, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    for a girl who is herself and doesnt depend on others. i salute u.

  • Anonymous | October 20, 2011 at 7:26 PM

    when you die, you wake up to a completely new reality. its like being born from mothers womb to the world we live in. the baby was perfectly happy and playful when inside the mother's womb but when it is ejected out from that safe place and pushed into this new world a whole new chapter begins.

    same like:

    when you die unimaginable forms of creation (angels of death) comes and ask questions. since you do not know what awaits them next after you answers them, you try to be as truthful as possible. So when you are asked who is your lord, you will worry about giving the correct answer. Now if a mad Christian terrorist comes brandishing a club or something, and ask the same question you will say Jesus. Its because you knows that only that answer will please him. Same like, when the angels ask this question about your lord, the person who was not strengthenend by Eaman from Allah will say "I don' know really".. Actually this appears closer to truth because you never saw your god or hear from god etc. All your faith is just faith. So if Allah has not strengthened your belief, its very likely you will say I don't know. Now if you say this they will ask two more questions and after that their punishment will start.

    Now in this world we worry about niceties like treating, women kindly etc, but in that world these creations are created not with niceties like that. They will carry out the order of god. So they will not spare the women because they are women.

    the only recourse it through belief and ibaadha.

  • Anonymous | March 22, 2012 at 11:52 AM

    ahh...death.

    if only i were a bird or an animal or some kind of plant..

    if only i could turn into mere dust from whence i came before choosing the pathway to heaven or hell..

    or if i just died as an innocent child before maturity..

    i'd gladly choose any of these alternatives to being human..

    that way we wouldnt have to go thru a whole lotta bullshit, now would we,dear areej..?